IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You are visiting a town where you once worked. Write a friend you worked with there. Include the following in your letter: Tell your friend about life now. Give him/her details of your visit. Arrange how you can meet.

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Hello Sir, I hope
this
Linking Words
 letter finds you well. I am writing
this
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 letter to file a formal
complain
Replace the word
complaint
show examples
 regarding misconduct
delievery
Correct your spelling
delivery
 done by your company. To summarize, I ordered a pair of electronic equipment, specifically a set of soldering kits, which included a pair of twisters, solder iron and strand, flux, and soldering wire and iron tips.
However
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, the package is missing the solder iron and its tips.
This
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 electronic
kit
Use synonyms
 is supposed to be a part of my apprenticeship tool
kit
Use synonyms
, which I am about to start next week. Apparently, the ordered
kit
Use synonyms
 is missing the most critical component needed for my everyday work.
Thus
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, forcing me to bind myself to desk work and be absent from any field work. Ultimately, it seriously affects my training period and working capability.
Therefore
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, I demand that the company
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
reimburse the price of items missing from the ordered list or send a whole
kit
Use synonyms
, ensuring that all the items are accounted for. I am eagerly waiting for an appropriate resonance to my request. Thank you, Raj.

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task achievement
While you effectively communicate the issue and your request, try to express your feelings and thoughts more clearly about the impact of the missing items on your apprenticeship. This could help convey the urgency of your request.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of the letter is generally clear, but separating your points into distinct paragraphs (e.g., introduction, issue, request) would improve readability. Make sure each paragraph sticks to one main idea to enhance coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Your greeting and closing could be made more personal or friendly, as this is a letter to a friend rather than a formal complaint. Adjusting the tone can improve the overall warmth of your letter.
content
You clearly outlined the issue with your order and the specific items that were missing, which is essential for the recipient to understand your concern.
content
The urgency of your situation is well conveyed, which helps in motivating a prompt response from the company.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

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