The use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction among many people in society. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Thanks to technological advances, there are numerous types of social
media
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application introduced.
While
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there is no doubt that these applications benefit humans in different aspects, like communicating with family members, making new friends, and developing their own business, I believe that
there
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it
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would be catastrophic if we excessively focus on online platforms. In contemporary society, social
media
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facilitates seamless communication around the world,
this
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fact maintains and improves connections between people to people regardless of physical location.
For example
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, individuals limited by some factors,
such
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as career obligations, academic pursuits, and time constraints, can keep in touch with their family or close friends by virtual dialogues when missing them or even suffering from some difficulties thereby needing encouragement and advice.
Also
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, those wanting to meet a new friend sharing the same hobbies can browse a variety of
group
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groups
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in
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on
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Facebook.
This
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method can help them join
the
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a
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specific online group in which those having
same
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the same
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interests effectively.
Furthermore
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, the young prefer to start their business on social
media
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platforms. Running a live program or podcast, they open up infinite possibilities to interact with audience, thereby increasing loyal fun bases to generate income.
Although
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these benefits boost the number of people utilizing social
media
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,
this
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increasing trend causes those extremely engross in their devices, leading to a series of negative effect. Take the young generation
for example
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, teenagers spending lot of time on phone tend to neglect the individuals presenting near them.
This
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situation will hamper authentic relationships
,
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and, as
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as a result
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,
fostering
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foster
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a culture of isolation.
In addition
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, to be more convenient, those addicted to technology love abusing abbreviation and emotion,
for instance
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, replacing " thanks" with "THK".
This
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can impair the young's linguistic skills, thereby causing communication barrier.
This
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means that they may misunderstand and feel discomfort in some formal contexts, ranging from academic classes to international conferences. In conclusion,
although
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social
media
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improves efficiency of communication in various scenarios, including family, friendship, and business, abusing them will cause serious problems, which warrant reflection and action.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that summarizes the main point you're discussing.
task achievement
While you provide some relevant examples, be careful to fully explain how these support your arguments more explicitly.
coherence and cohesion
Watch for minor grammatical errors and phrasing that could be more precise to avoid any confusion for the reader.
coherence and cohesion
You organized your ideas clearly and logically, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
task achievement
You provided a range of examples demonstrating the advantages and disadvantages of social media, which shows depth in your analysis.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • face-to-face interaction
  • geographical barriers
  • global community
  • cultural diversity
  • economic opportunities
  • superficial interactions
  • mental health impact
  • loneliness
  • depression
  • interpersonal relationships
  • real world
  • spread of misinformation
  • echo chambers
  • societal polarization
  • informed citizenship
  • constant connectivity
  • maintain relationships
  • fast and efficient
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