Once children start school, teachers have more influences on their intellectual and social development than parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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I
am highly
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highly agree
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agree
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agree on
agree to
agree with
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this
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statement. In my opinion,
school
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is an educational environment. Compared to their parents,
school
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is more beneficial for
student
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students
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in both their academic and social
developments
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development
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.
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School
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Schools
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provide a wide range of subject lessons and extra-curriculum
activitives
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activities
taught by
professional
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professionally
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trained
teachers
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.
Chuldren
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Children
can attend different
subjects
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subject
show examples
lessons with various
teachers
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,
include
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including
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the language
subject
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subjects
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of Chinese and English, some logical
type
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types
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such
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as
the
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apply
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mathematics and
Chemstry
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Chemistry
,
as well as
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some artistic development lessons like
Music
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, Art and Cooking. Applying
Music
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as an example, I believe every
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students
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student
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has their own potential in their
music
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, which is waiting to be discovered in the
school
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atmosphere.
For example
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, a student may enjoy singing and her voice may be very attractive, in which
school
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offer a load of
platform
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platforms
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for her to enhance
the
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her
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singing skills, like the ensemble of Girls Choir or Acapella.
However
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, not every
parents
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parent
show examples
is a professional
music
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teacher
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which may not be effective
to explore
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in exploring
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and even
nurture
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nurturing
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their child to build up more in their
music
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journey.
Therefore
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,
teachers
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can
has
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have
show examples
a
positively
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positive
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effects
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effect
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on
children
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in their academic
develoment
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development
.
School
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teacher
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acts as
caring
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a caring
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mentor
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mentors
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in front of their
students
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,
in
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apply
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which
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who
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can take care of the
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students'
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student's
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emotional and
behaviour
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behavioural
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responese
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response
responses
. When
children
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began
Wrong verb form
begin
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to go to
school
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, they spend around 8 hours per
days
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day
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in
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at
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weekends, which is more than their parents. Using '
class
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teacher
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' as an example, each
class
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has a close
teacher
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to manage the
class
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and
student'
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students'
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personal growth. In today's society, every
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children
Change to a singular noun
child
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has their own stress
such
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as in academic results, social communication or family
relationship
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relationships
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. They may feel
umproductive
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unproductive
productive
or find it hard to concentrate
in
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on
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the lesson.
School
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class
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teacher
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teachers
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can kindly talk with the
students
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at recess time, to show that they are
a
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apply
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respectful and
patience
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patient
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listener
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listeners
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, so as to support the
students
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to go through the hard times together,
as well as
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give some useful
advices
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advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
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for the
students
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in their
concern
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concerns
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.
To conclude
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, both
teachers
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and family
being
Verb problem
play
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an integral part in
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children'
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children's
show examples
peformance
Correct your spelling
performance
and personal growth in society.
However
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,
teacher
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roles
is
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are
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more important once
students
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arrive
to
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at
show examples
school
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as they spend more time together.

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Task Achievement
Make sure to clarify your opinion in the introduction statement. For example, use 'I strongly agree' instead of 'I am highly agree.'
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure accurate subject-verb agreement, such as 'School provides' and 'teachers can have' instead of the incorrect forms.
Coherence and Cohesion
Break up longer sentences for better readability and clarity. This can help convey your ideas more clearly.
Task Achievement
Include a more developed conclusion that summarizes your main points succinctly. Adding a final thought about the importance of collaboration between teachers and parents could strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
You effectively identified the role of teachers in children's social and academic development, providing good examples to support your claims.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay contains relevant examples, making your points clearer and more relatable for the reader.
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