IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Study abroad can be highly motivational for students and also inspire their dreams. However, whilst studying abroad can have a number of positive effects on students, there are also many difficulties that they may meet along the way. With this is in mind, it is more advantages to study at home. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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Studying overseas could motivate
students
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 and
also
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 inspire their dreams.
However
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,
study
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 abroad can bring a positive way on
students
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, there are
also
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 many obstacles that they may
faces
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face
show examples
 along the process.
Besides
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, there are more advantages to
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study at
Wrong verb form
studying
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locals
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locally
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. I firmly agree, that
Use synonyms
study
Replace the word
studying
show examples
 abroad
have
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has
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positive
Correct article usage
a positive
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 way
,
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apply
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 because it can bring a large experience toward their dreams and could create networking from anywhere
in
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apply
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worldwide.
Initially
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, local
students
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 in many countries got
influence
Wrong verb form
influenced
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 about living abroad to pursue
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study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
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 from social media, which
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
makes curious them to take their education
in
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apply
show examples
overseas. It is explained that the
students
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 saw a lot of benefits
while
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learn in
Wrong verb form
learning
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 overseas.
For example
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, the laboratory facilities especially
on
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in
show examples
 engineering departments
which they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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have a new stuff generation. It could bring a new invention
particular
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particularly
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 for
students
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 who
needs
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need
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 forward stuff.
Furthermore
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, the
learner
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learners
show examples
 could be
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
experts with advanced technology systems education from
nation
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a nation
the nation
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 where they
study
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.
Besides
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 that, learning in international colleges could spread networking from anywhere worldwide, which can make new friends who have the same passion topics.
For instance
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,
civil
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a civil
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 engineer from Indonesia who wants
learn
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to learn
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 about transportation
get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
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opportunity
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the opportunity
an opportunity
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 to
study
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masters
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master's
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 in Industry Engineering at Monash University,
which
Correct word choice
where
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 he
meeting
Wrong verb form
meets
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 a guy who
experts
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expert
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on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 business
operation
Fix the agreement mistake
operations
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especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
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at
Change preposition
in
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 transportation management.
In addition
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, locals who
study
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 overseas can
sharing
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share
be sharing
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cultural
Replace the word
culture
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 with their mates as foreign
students
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. In conclusion, I firmly agree that
Use synonyms
study in
Correct your spelling
studying
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 overseas
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 a lot of
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
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from
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 who want to learn
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
particularly based
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
 knowledge and
social
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society
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.
In addition
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, learners can adjust their
confident
Replace the word
confidence
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 towards
obstacle
Fix the agreement mistake
obstacles
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 based
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
experience
Correct article usage
the experience
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which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 got in overseas.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction could be more clear and engaging. Consider rephrasing for better clarity and impact. For example, you might want to mention both the benefits and challenges of studying abroad more explicitly in your thesis statement.
Language
Make sure to maintain subject-verb agreement. For example, change 'they may faces' to 'they may face' and 'study abroad have positive way' to 'study abroad has a positive impact'.
Task Achievement
Although your examples are relevant, they could be more elaborated to provide a clear connection to your argument. Try to explain in more detail how each example supports your main point
Task Achievement
You have effectively recognized both sides of the argument regarding study abroad vs studying at home, which shows good critical thinking.
Task Achievement
Your examples relate well to the topic and illustrate the potential benefits of studying abroad effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • personal growth
  • cultural exposure
  • critical thinking
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • language acquisition
  • global job market
  • motivation
  • networking opportunities
  • culture shock
  • homesickness
  • academic pressure
  • financial constraints
  • support networks
  • mental health
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