IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You exercise regularly and have been a member of many different gyms. Recently, you moved into a new neighbourhood and joined a new gym. You have noticed that people at this gym do not bother to wipe down the machines after use and often leave dirty towels on the benches in the changing rooms. Write to the gym manager. In your letter: explain who you are describe the problem exactly make suggestions to improve the gym

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Dear Sir or Madam, I hope you are doing well. I am Manjinder Kaur and I moved to your society
last
Linking Words
 month. As I knew from one of my friends that you are providing a
gym
Use synonyms
 facility in your compound so I joined that
gym
Use synonyms
 but when I reached there I did not like the atmosphere of that
gym
Use synonyms
. I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to let you know about the problems that I faced there and which steps help to improve it. considering the actual cause of
gym
Use synonyms
, I remember
last
Linking Words
 week, when I reached to
gym
Use synonyms
 at 5 pm to do exercise, I noticed that everyone doing their exercises but after they
done
Add a missing verb
were done
show examples
 with it they are not cleaning the equipments for others and they just through the wet towel on the benches that are in changing room. Even though, trainers are there to help trainees yet they
also
Linking Words
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
 let the people know that they have to clean the machine after using it and tell
what
Correct pronoun usage
them what
show examples
 problems it will cause to others
?
Change the punctuation
.
show examples
 I would really
appreciated
Change the verb form
appreciate
show examples
,
if
Correct pronoun usage
it if
show examples
 you take required steps to combat it first of all you
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
 put
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
posters on the
gym
Use synonyms
 walls so people
aware
Add a missing verb
are aware
show examples
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the problem. Apart from
it
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
, you would
also
Linking Words
 put
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 fine on those multitude who do not obey the rules of
Use synonyms
gym
Add an article
the gym
show examples
. I am looking forward
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 your prompt response. Yours sincerely, Manjinder Kaur

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coherence and cohesion
Consider organizing your ideas more clearly by creating distinct paragraphs for each point you want to make. This will help ensure that each idea is fully developed and easy to follow.
task achievement
Make sure to use more formal language and avoid casual phrases to maintain a professional tone throughout the letter.
task achievement
You effectively introduced yourself and explained the purpose of your letter in the opening paragraph, which sets a good context for the reader.
task achievement
Your suggestions for improvement are practical and relevant to the issues you described, showing that you are constructive in your feedback.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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