IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You recently went to a concert and thought one of the singers was very good. You want to tell him how you feel. Write a letter to the singer. In your letter: . say how you feel about his performance . give details of your musical activities . explain how you would like him to help you with your musical activities

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Dear Rose, I hope
this
Linking Words
 letter finds you well! I'm writing to you because I went to your
kpop
Correct your spelling
K-pop
 group concert
last
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 weekend. All of you guys are pretty awesome at the stage.
Thus
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, you are my
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
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 member, I find your voice so amazing and you always do your best for your fans and for all of the people there.
On the other hand
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, I have
passion
Correct article usage
a passion
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in
Change preposition
for
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 singing too, since I was a kid I
love
Wrong verb form
have loved
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 listening to music.
Therefore
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, I decided to learn how to sing on my own with different
genre
Fix the agreement mistake
genres
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 of songs.
Thus
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, I believe singing is my skill and calling in
this
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 world. I
also
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 heard
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 that you will have a new academy for people who
wants
Correct subject-verb agreement
want
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 to enhance their music skills and career. I'm looking forward to
join in
Wrong verb form
joining
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 your academy.
Moreover
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, to gain enough knowledge and techniques for singing. I hope you can notice my letter and give me some
advices
Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
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how
Change preposition
on how
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 to improve my talent. I'm looking forward
for
Change preposition
to
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 your response. Sincerely yours: Jennie

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coherence and cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures for improved readability and engagement.
task achievement
Try to be more specific about the details of your singing activities to enhance your response.
task achievement
Your passion for music and singing comes through strongly in your letter, which is very engaging.
coherence and cohesion
The friendly tone of your letter makes it approachable and warm, which is great for a personal letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • stellar performance
  • captivating
  • musical prowess
  • talent
  • repertoire
  • collaboration
  • mentorship
  • resonate
  • aspiring musician
  • composition
  • rendition
  • inspirational
  • vocal range
  • harmonize
  • skillset
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