The growing of over weight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lesons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays, people tend to become obese, which causes

health

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problems

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, some individuals think that the key to solving these issues is to have more

sports

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and exercise courses in

schools

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. In my opinion, I completely agree that

this

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approach helps to manage the issue to overcome worsening public

health

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in terms of weight.

Initially

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, dealing with public

health

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issues, especially obesity, and weight

problems

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, carries vital issues. To address these concerns, introducing more sport and exercise in

schools

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will ensure that the next generation will be healthier and will not have

such

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health

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problems

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. To give an example, average

children

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in Turkey do

sports

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twice a week in school, which is not enough when compared with their food consumption. Another point to consider is that more

sports

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lessons for

children

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schools

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not only help to manage weight

problems

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but

also

Linking Words

help to develop social interaction among

children

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In other words

Linking Words

, in

sports

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class,

children

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become more active in terms of both physically and mentally.

For instance

Linking Words

, especially in team

sports

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like volleyball, students have to create a strategy to get a point. In order to do that, they must be physically active and communicate

while

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playing volleyball.

Thus

Linking Words

while

Linking Words

they are playing, not only do they build stronger connections, but they

also

Linking Words

perform physical activity. In conclusion, to deal with an increasing population of overweight people, changing lifestyles including

sports

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schools

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is the easiest and most effective way

to use

Verb problem

apply

show examples

alarayazcThu Mar 20 2025

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task achievement

Consider adding a clearer thesis statement in your introduction that explicitly outlines the main points you will discuss.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure to connect ideas smoothly between sentences and paragraphs to improve the flow of your argument.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your claims about the benefits of increased physical education, such as statistics or studies.

task achievement

Your essay addresses the prompt well and presents a clear opinion on the topic.

coherence and cohesion

You made a good attempt to discuss the social benefits of sports education in schools.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

242 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

obesity
healthcare system
strain
physical education
curriculum
well-being
lifestyle
nutrition education
sedentary
engaging
instilling values
burden
long-term impact
complemented

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Fully explain your ideas

Group or team activities can teach more important skills for life than those activities which are done alone. Do you agree or disagree?

It has often been suggested that the reintroduction of capital punishment would deter the ever increasing rate of serious crime. What is your view? Do you think that capital punishment should be reinstated?

Some people say that children should be involved in making schools' rules. Some argue that adults should be in charge of making rules. Discuss both view and give your opinion.