IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

A new generation of entrepreneurs believe that privately funded space tourism will be the next exciting development in space exploration. How true do you think this is? How would space tourism affect space exploration as we know it today?

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Evidently
that
Correct word choice
apply
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Nowadays a significant majority of businessmen strongly agree with the statement that in
our
Change the word
the
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 future
space
Use synonyms
 tourism will be very popular.
Therefore
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, most of them
begin
Wrong verb form
have begun
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 to develop
this
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 project at present. Everybody wants to be among leaders.
Space
Use synonyms
 exploration is a crucial component of human evolution.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explore
this
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 phenomenon in a number of detail with relevant examples. First of all, I would like to admit that in the USA
space
Use synonyms
 programs are very popular in the engineering environment. As far as I know, a significant percentage of universities have
a
Correct article usage
apply
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space
Use synonyms
 research faculties ,
for
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example
Add the comma(s)
example,
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 Gorge Mason University . Every year a huge number of graduates become
space
Use synonyms
 engineers. Undoubtedly,
a
Change preposition
in a
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journey abroad the atmosphere has a vital effect on exploration.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the more knowledge researchers have, the faster development of
this
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 sphere will be. I think that the next generation of nations will have
space
Use synonyms
 trips as we have
plain
Correct your spelling
plane
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 travel now. On the flip side, I believe that people should save
this
Linking Words
 planet in time when investigating other ones.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, rocket fuel is harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
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 nature. I would like to explain my point of view, the huge amount of
space
Use synonyms
 travel would generate a myriad of noxious fumes which
kills
Correct subject-verb agreement
kill
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 our planet.
For
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instance
Add a comma
instance,
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 one rocket
starts
Add the particle
starts to
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 make more than 1000 cubic meters of toxic fumes. In conclusion, I would like to summarize that the modern research of
space
Use synonyms
play
Change the verb form
plays
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 crucial role in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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peoples
Change to a genitive case
people's
peoples'
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 development. I believe that the journey to other planets in the
nearest
Correct word choice
near
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 future will be no more complicated than flying by plane today.

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task achievement
Ensure to provide a clearer thesis statement in the introduction that outlines the main arguments of the essay.
task achievement
Develop more specific examples throughout the essay to strengthen your arguments; for instance, provide specific details about the space programs mentioned.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow between paragraphs, perhaps by using more cohesive devices or transitional phrases to connect ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The topic introduction effectively sets the stage for discussing the significance of space tourism in relation to human evolution.
task achievement
The essay presents an interesting perspective on the environmental concerns related to space travel, adding depth to the discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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