IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Damage to environment is an inevitable consequence of the improvement in the standard of living. To what degree do you agree or disagree to this position?

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Some people complain that it is inevitable that the development
human
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of human
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 beings will lead to the environment damaging.
Although
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, to some extent, it is true. But, we can develop in a sustainable way. Waste and pollution are inevitable at the very beginning of developing a new technology.
For example
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, the
Replace the word
implementation
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implement
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implementation
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 of oil in transportation
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
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improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
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 the
Correct your spelling
efficiency
effiency
Correct your spelling
efficiency
 of travelling,
however
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,
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apply
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the
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apply
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air pollution
also
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cause
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causes
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 the greenhouse effect. The chemical factories release
depoists
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deposits
in
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into
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 the river,
in
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apply
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which
damage
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damages
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 the living environment of the sea animals, which
lead
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leads
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 to
the
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a
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decreasing
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decrease
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of
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in
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 biodiversity.
However
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, there are methods that can promote the life standard
while
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be
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being
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 sustainable.
For example
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, the government implements large-scale environmental education programs to raise awareness about sustainable living. Governments encourage the public to use recycling materials
such
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 as cloth bags and glass bottles rather than plastic ones. The reason is that plastic will produce toxic substances that harm the ecosystem in
long
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the long
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 run.
Besides
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, new technologies can be introduced to
make
Verb problem
put
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 clean
energy
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 into practice rather than using non-renewable
energy
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. The governments,
tink
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think
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 tanks, specialists and NGOs can work together to promote the initials of inventing new
energy
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.
For the
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The
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 government,
it
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apply
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can set laws to
fobidden
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curb
 overuse and the waste of
energy
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and
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apply
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fund the specialists in doing
experinment
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experiments
experiment
,
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apply
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 and improve the
utlization
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utilisation
 rate of
the
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apply
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energy
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. All in all, people should work together to live a
sustaniable
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sustainable
 life by raising
the
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apply
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awareness of environmental protection and
utilize
Wrong verb form
utilising
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 new
techonology
Correct your spelling
technology
.

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task achievement
Provide a clearer thesis statement in the introduction to explicitly state your position.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that directly relates to your thesis.
coherence and cohesion
Use more varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures to enhance the overall quality of the writing.
task achievement
You present some relevant examples and suggestions for promoting sustainability, which enriches your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • habitat destruction
  • pollution
  • infrastructure
  • biodiversity
  • consumer culture
  • waste production
  • carbon footprints
  • energy usage
  • sustainable
  • fossil fuels
  • air pollution
  • water pollution
  • climate change
  • technological advancements
  • profit
  • ecological health
  • deforestation
  • over-extraction
  • environmental awareness
  • sustainability
  • green technologies
  • sustainable practices
  • green policies
What to do next:
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