IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many young people do not know how to manage their money when graduating from high school.What do you think are the causes of this?What solutions can be suggested?

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Some people
argued
Wrong verb form
argue
show examples
 that
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
 have
complited
Correct your spelling
completed
Correct article usage
a bachelor
show examples
bachelor
Change noun form
bachelor's
show examples
 degree, still they
have
Verb problem
are still
show examples
 not aware to manage their money.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explain the reason and solution
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 issue and
reason
Add an article
the reason
show examples
 is that
youngster
Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
show examples
 have
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
economic responsibility
therefore
Linking Words
parents
Use synonyms
 should involve them in
work
Use synonyms
. On the one hand, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
parents
Use synonyms
 take all
respocibility
Correct your spelling
responsibility
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
children
Correct pronoun usage
their children
show examples
 because it is
prime
Correct article usage
a prime
show examples
priorities
Fix the agreement mistake
priority
show examples
 to support
our
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 child.
parents
Use synonyms
 would provide them
all
Add the preposition
with all
show examples
Correct article usage
the nacessery
show examples
nacessery
Correct your spelling
necessary
 things they pay their class fees, they buy cloth for them that
over all
Correct your spelling
overall
show examples
 needs to be met by
parents
Use synonyms
 that
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
create
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 like
Correct article usage
the studenat
show examples
studenat
Correct your spelling
student
students
 can't handle their
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 decision.
For example
Linking Words
, once, my 20 years brother went to the market and bought a
shart
Correct your spelling
shirt
show examples
 for him when he was buying he cant
bargaining
Replace the word
bargain
show examples
 that's why he got
this
Linking Words
 shirt very high cost which
not
Add a missing verb
was not
show examples
real
Correct article usage
the real
show examples
prise
Correct your spelling
price
show examples
 of it. It
happend
Correct your spelling
happened
happens
 because
he
Add the auxiliary verb
he has
show examples
been
Verb problem
did
show examples
 not
give
Verb problem
go
show examples
 to the market and buy
some thing
Correct your spelling
something
show examples
, his needs always
comleted
Correct your spelling
completed
 by his
parents
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
.
parents
Use synonyms
sould
Correct your spelling
should
could
involve them in
parchases
Correct your spelling
purchases
 and sales it is the best way to
understant
Correct your spelling
understand
 how to manage money because children buy and sell
some thing
Correct your spelling
something
show examples
 that time they can
aware
Add a missing verb
be aware
show examples
 of real economic
arrangement
Fix the agreement mistake
arrangements
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, after
completed
Wrong verb form
completing
show examples
 12th children do a
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
 job when
thy
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 do
work
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 they get knowledge about earning
moneny
Correct your spelling
money
as a result
Linking Words
 gradually they can
understant
Correct your spelling
understand
 which
expencives
Correct your spelling
expenses
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 important or not
consequently
Linking Words
 they become
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
managbale
Correct your spelling
management
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, one
reseach
Correct your spelling
research
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
showed
Change the verb form
shown
show examples
 that
which
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 students
work
Use synonyms
 during their education they become
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sharp and smart
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 in
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 decisions.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 which
sudents
Correct your spelling
students
 are
involed
Correct your spelling
involved
 in
only
Add an article
the only
an only
show examples
 study they are less smart students in economic activities
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
, several
high degree
Add a hyphen
high-degree
show examples
 students
have
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not
knowladge
Correct your spelling
know
 about how to manage their money because they have less
responsibily
Correct your spelling
responsibility
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 economic things
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
parents
Use synonyms
 can give them some
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
 about sales and buying
as well
Linking Words
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 their
work
Use synonyms
 engagement can help to
understan
Correct your spelling
understand
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
economic
managment
Correct your spelling
management
.

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Task Response
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines your main points. It should present a brief overview of what the essay will cover.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use linking words to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. Transition phrases would help guide the reader through your arguments more smoothly.
Task Response
When presenting examples, try to ensure they are directly relevant to the point you are making, and clarify their significance within your argument.
Task Achievement
You have identified some key reasons for the lack of financial management skills among young people and suggested potential solutions.
Task Achievement
Your examples relate to personal experiences, which can add a unique touch to your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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