The shopping habits of people depends more on their age group than on any other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view ?

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The buying nature of
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
individuals changed over their lives. It has been reckoned by some experts that some populace
intrests
Correct your spelling
interests
to purchase anything develop.
accordig
Correct your spelling
according
to their age group. I
am
Unnecessary verb
apply
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whole-heartedy
Correct your spelling
wholeheartedly
agree with
this
Linking Words
view, and will state the testaments in the subsequent paragraphs. To commence with, in childhood period they love to
shop
Use synonyms
toys
Change preposition
for toys
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or food to eat.
In other words
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,
children's
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children
show examples
are more keen
into
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on
show examples
toys to play with their friends without any noticing their price range or social status in the world.
For instance
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, if they do have any specific
intrest
Correct your spelling
interest
in regards to the
things
Use synonyms
they would love to buy
such
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as
aeroplane
Fix the agreement mistake
aeroplanes
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,
car
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cars
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
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jeep
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jeeps
show examples
and so on. They will ask their dependents to buy for them.
Thus
Linking Words
the above-mentioned example clearly substantiates that
on
Correct your spelling
one
show examples
could only buy those
things
Use synonyms
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
they have
Correct article usage
an intrest
show examples
intrest
Correct your spelling
interest
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
considering any other factors. To
further
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solidify my argument, people buy
things
Use synonyms
to maintain or compete with other people when they reach
at
Correct your spelling
a
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certain age level
such
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as adults. To expound,
due to
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advent
Correct article usage
the advent
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of technology , it's easier to
shop
Use synonyms
online and post it on social media , which brings competition into them so that they
shop
Use synonyms
according to
Linking Words
their trending fashion.
However
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, some situations
comes
Change the verb form
come
show examples
up like they have to buy to meet their work needs.
For example
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, a
Linking Words
such
Fix the agreement mistake
apply
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job
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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requires a certain attire to wear on working days,
then
Linking Words
they need to
shop
Use synonyms
for it.
Hence
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, their shopping preferences by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
age
changes
Correct subject-verb agreement
change
show examples
to stay
updated
Verb problem
apply
show examples
updated or to maintain their social status in the world. To recapitulate,
although
Linking Words
their
intrests
Correct your spelling
interests
are different or they value
things
Use synonyms
differently when they are
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
childhood period, they start accepting the change and
shop
Use synonyms
accordingy
Correct your spelling
accordingly
according
to meet their social needs to sustain in
current
Add an article
the current
show examples
fashion market.
In addition
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to it, buying habits
changes
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change
show examples
over the passing year just to maintain their social status.

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task achievement
Work on your introduction to clearly state your main points and the stance you are taking. Try to summarize the main arguments in a more structured way.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the ideas within the paragraph are logically connected. This will help improve reader understanding.
language
Check for grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as 'intrests' instead of 'interests' or 'dependents' instead of 'guardians.' This will make your writing clearer and more professional.
language
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more effectively and avoid repetition, for instance, instead of saying 'people' repeatedly, try using synonyms like 'individuals' or 'consumers.'
structure
Your essay has clear sections for introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, showing a good overall structure.
content
You provide examples to support your points, which is a positive aspect, as it reinforces your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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