IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the contribution of three sectors - agriculture, manufacturing and business and financial services - to the UK economy in the twentieth century.

The graph below shows the contribution of three sectors - agriculture, manufacturing and business and financial services - to the UK economy in the twentieth century.
The graphs below
depicts
Change the verb form
depict
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 the three factors namely agriculture, manufacturing and business and financial services that
attribute
Verb problem
contributed
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 to
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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economy
Use synonyms
 from 1900 to 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, the three elements (Agriculture, Manufacturing and Business and Financial services)
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 own unique impact or contribution to the
European’s
Change noun form
European
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economy
Use synonyms
. At the beginning, in 1900, Agriculture was the highest contributor, yet, performance
is fluctuating
Wrong verb form
fluctuated
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 all through the twentieth century.
First
Add a comma
First,
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 it is estimated at 49% and 50% in 1950,
however
Linking Words
 dramatically drop its influence to 10% in 1975 and at its lowest in 2000 at 5
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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. Manufacturing on the
hand
Correct word choice
other hand
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, aided in the
economy
Use synonyms
 as the second most
economy
Use synonyms
 provider, at 45% in 1900, gradually declining its performance until
year
Change the article
the year
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 2000 (15%).
In contrast
Linking Words
, Business and Financial
services
Capitalize word
Services
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 started
at
Correct your spelling
a
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 mediocre impact from 1900 at 5% to 30% in 2000, though not as high as the other
sector
Fix the agreement mistake
sectors
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 but its performance was very significant to
European’s
Correct your spelling
Europe’s
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 economic landscape.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words economy with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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