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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The graphs illustrate the details about different types of
dance
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
 and their locations which are being presently attended by Australian children in a town.
Overall
Linking Words
, Most of the
dance
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
 are held in private studios .
while
Linking Words
 Ballet
dance
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
 are taken by a majority of the people
belongs
Wrong verb form
belonging
show examples
 to a certain
age
Use synonyms
 group,
whereas
Linking Words
 older children are taking modern
dance
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
. In detail, Private studios are the most famous location of all, where almost 50 % of
classes
Use synonyms
 take place here. Followed by school halls with 24 % , where the
classes
Use synonyms
 take place after school.
In addition
Linking Words
 , community-based studios , community halls and others will be occupied by the remaining
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of the
dance
Use synonyms
 tuition. In those locations, 600
students
Use synonyms
 under the
age
Use synonyms
 of 11 years are taking ballet
dance
Use synonyms
 lectures, which is the highest among
this
Linking Words
age
Use synonyms
 group. Followed by, tap
dance
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 with slightly lower than 500 and modern
dance
Use synonyms
,which is least preferred with approximately 300
students
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Modern
dance
Use synonyms
 class
students
Use synonyms
 are the highest among the young people whose
age
Use synonyms
 group is between 11 and 16, with above 500
students
Use synonyms
.
while
Linking Words
, ballet
dance
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 are the least in number in
this
Linking Words
age
Use synonyms
 category, with around 300.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words dance, classes, age, students with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • attending
  • currently
  • location
  • variety
  • ballet
  • hip-hop
  • contemporary
  • jazz
  • venues
  • popularity
  • attendees
  • juxtaposing
  • correlating
  • proximity
  • cultural influences
  • trends
  • anomalies
  • monopoly
  • proportion
  • distribution
  • enrollment
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