Nowadays, online shopping is rapidly replacing physical shopping in stores. Do the benefits outweigh the drawbacks, in your view?

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Nowadays, online shopping is rapidly replacing in-store shopping, and
this
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situation has both positive and negative effects on people's habits and the shopping sector. In
this
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essay, I will discuss both perspectives with relevant examples. On the one hand, the benefits of online shopping outweigh the drawbacks.
Firstly
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, today Human's lives are busy, fast pace and time is extremely important.
For instance
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, I prefer online shopping
instead
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of wasting time visiting stores, and I can compare the prices of the products through online shopping.
Secondly
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, online shopping gives us the chance to shop quickly and in a variety of ways, which can eventually increase brands' profits and create different job opportunities for employees in retail shops. Based, on
this
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, we can say that online shopping is
beneficial
Correct quantifier usage
more beneficial
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than physical shopping.
On the other hand
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, physical shopping provides job opportunities to many people. A decrease in the demand for physical shopping
also
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causes a moderate decline in the percentage of employment.
This
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might lead to some people losing their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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. Meanwhile, we can view all these reasons as negative effects related to the drawbacks of online shopping. In conclusion, when we judge both
situation
Change to a plural noun
situations
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according to
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today's world conditions, the benefits of online shopping outweigh the drawbacks. Based on human lifestyle, online shopping supports saving money and time. It wouldn't be wrong to say that, the trend of online shopping may increase with improvements in supply chain processes and the technology world in future.

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task achievement
Ensure that your thesis statement clearly outlines the main points you will discuss in the essay. This can help guide the reader and give a clearer structure to your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow between your ideas. Use more linking words and phrases to connect your paragraphs and ideas smoothly.
task achievement
When comparing advantages and disadvantages, use more detailed examples and elaboration to strengthen your arguments. This adds depth to your essay.
task achievement
You have demonstrated a clear understanding of the topic and provided relevant examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your main argument and provides a forward-looking perspective on online shopping trends.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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