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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows China's population by age group starting in 1960 and including a forecast to 2050 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant

The graph below shows China's population by age group starting in 1960 and including a forecast to 2050 Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant
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The line chart above
divide
Change the verb form
divides
show examples
 the
Chins's
Change noun form
Chins
show examples
populatin
Correct your spelling
population
in
Change the preposition
into
show examples
 three groups by age, 0-14, 15-64 and 65+, from 1960 to 2050. Starting with
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
group
Use synonyms
 age 0-14,
this
Linking Words
group
Use synonyms
 start with the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
, but
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
 the years goes
up
Change preposition
by
show examples
this
Linking Words
percentage
Use synonyms
decline
Correct subject-verb agreement
declines
show examples
 rapidly until it
reach
Change the verb form
reaches
show examples
near
Change the word
nearly
show examples
 17.5%.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
15
Correct article usage
the 15
show examples
-64 segment in 1960 was more than 35%
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
china
Capitalize word
China
show examples
populations
Fix the agreement mistake
population
show examples
.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
 they
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 their peak by 2020 with 70%, and
this
Linking Words
 was the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 in the three groups, but sadly
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 continue to decrease until 2050.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the
last
Linking Words
group
Use synonyms
 65+ it was the lowest
percentage
Use synonyms
 back in 1960 with nearly 5%, and they
comtinue
Correct your spelling
continue
 to
this
Linking Words
 of number populations, but by 2020 they
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 some
increases
Fix the agreement mistake
increase
show examples
 and it remain
to
Change preposition
by
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
2050 year, they reach about 25%. In summary, the only
group
Use synonyms
 that had been
forcasted
Correct your spelling
forecasted
forecast
 to increase from 2030 to 2050 is 65,
also
Linking Words
 the 15-64 still the highest
percentage
Use synonyms
 between them even after the decline in 2030
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
after it.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words group, percentage with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increases" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 3 times.
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