IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this ? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

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In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their
products
Use synonyms
 are new, and
this
Linking Words
situaton
Correct your spelling
situation
both
Add a missing verb
has both
show examples
 positive and negative effects on
people
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's habits and the business sector. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I would
like
Add the particle
like to
show examples
 evaluate the results of these effects. First of all,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would like to negative
effect
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; When the business
emphasise
Correct subject-verb agreement
emphasises
show examples
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
their new
products
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 to
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
show examples
,
this
Linking Words
push
Correct subject-verb agreement
pushes
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
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 to make more
consumption
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.
A
Change the article
An
show examples
increasing
Replace the word
increase
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 in the demand for
consumption
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cause
Replace the word
causes
show examples
Use synonyms
effect
Correct article usage
the effect
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 capitalizm of
Correct article usage
a moderatly
show examples
moderatly
Correct your spelling
moderately
moderate
 climb. The desire of
people
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 to
compate
Correct your spelling
compete
compare
complete
,
buy
Correct word choice
and buy
show examples
 something and insufficiency supports to
consumption
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 of
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. It wouldn't be wrong to say that negative
effect
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, because
this
Linking Words
 is a huge problem
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the world nowadays. If we explain
results
Correct article usage
the results
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 of
this
Linking Words
 problem, we can go as far as global warming and the destruction of the world.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
Improve
Wrong verb form
by improving
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
science and technology,
people
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 and business companies can
production
Replace the word
produce
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 and they can find
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new ideas and new ways. If the new
products
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supports
Change the verb form
support
show examples
develeop
Correct your spelling
develop
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 science and technology and
more
Add a missing verb
are more
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 beneficial to humanity,
then
Linking Words
 we can talk about the positive
Use synonyms
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, these
products
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 should not only encourage
consumption
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,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 promote
further
Linking Words
 development. In
this
Linking Words
 case, it would be correct to talk about positive effects.
Finally
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
careful
Add a missing verb
are careful
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 about
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
 of
cunsumption
Correct your spelling
consumption
 and they can
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
balance supply and demand,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
companies can make
plan
Fix the agreement mistake
plans
show examples
according to
Linking Words
customer's
Change noun form
customers'
show examples
demand
Fix the agreement mistake
demands
show examples
 and can produce
benefitaclly
Correct your spelling
beneficial
products
Use synonyms
 for the
people
Use synonyms
, the world and their own profit.

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language
Make sure to correct spelling and grammatical errors. For instance, 'situaton' should be 'situation', 'i' should be 'I', and 'capitalizm' should be 'capitalism'.
coherence
To improve coherence, use more cohesive devices (such as 'however', 'in addition', etc.) to better connect your ideas across paragraphs and sentences.
coherence
Your arguments could be more clearly structured. Consider explicitly stating the positive and negative impacts in separate paragraphs to enhance clarity and flow.
task achievement
You have addressed both the positive and negative aspects of the topic, demonstrating a balanced view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • emphasise
  • advertising
  • products
  • innovation
  • competitive strategy
  • consumer dissatisfaction
  • value
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