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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph below illustrates the trends of the
number
Use synonyms
 of closed
shops
Use synonyms
 and the
number
Use synonyms
 of newly-opened
shops
Use synonyms
 in one certain country from 2011 to 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of openings outweighed
closures
Use synonyms
 in 2011 and 2015, which reached the largest difference of nearly 3000 in the latter year.
Linking Words
While in
Correct word choice
In
show examples
 the rest of
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
 periods, the condition reversed with
closures
Use synonyms
surpassed
Wrong verb form
surpassing
show examples
 openings. In terms of
clousre
Correct your spelling
closure
, it started with approximately 6000 in 2011. It hit its peak of 7000 in 2013, followed by the least
number
Use synonyms
 of
closure
Fix the agreement mistake
closures
show examples
 under 1000 in 2015. In the following year, it rose to approximately 5000
closures
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the openings began with over 8000, which is larger than the one of
closures
Use synonyms
 and it was
also
Linking Words
 the highest record. The
number
Use synonyms
 of whole-new
shops
Use synonyms
 dropped to 4000 or so
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 year,
then
Linking Words
 it increased to 6000 in 2014 with the
slighest
Correct your spelling
slightest
 difference
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of
closures
Use synonyms
. It remained around 4000 from 2015 to 2017.
However
Linking Words
, the
new
Correct quantifier usage
number of new
show examples
shops
Use synonyms
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
declined to 3000 in 2018.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, shops, closures with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • retail landscape
  • net growth
  • market dynamics
  • economic indicators
  • fluctuations
  • pivotal
  • consumption patterns
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • downward/upward trend
  • stabilize
  • recession
  • boom
  • retail sector
  • closure rate
  • inauguration/opening rate
  • consumer market
  • saturate
  • commercial viability
  • profitability
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