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Band 4.5

Are computers, an essential feature of modern education? What subjects can be better taught using computers? Are there aspects of a good education that cannot be taught using computers?

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In
this
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 contemporary world,
computers
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 become
important
Add an article
an important
show examples
 feature of
education
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. They are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
part and parcel of modern
education
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. Mostly all subjects whether Literature or Science can be better demonstrated using them.
According to
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 me, there are
few
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a few
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aspects
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 of a better
education
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 that cannot be taught using
computers
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. Without
computer's
Change noun form
computer
show examples
 modernization would be incomplete. Because
now-a-days
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
 they are assisting in almost every task. Electronic mails are
preffered
Correct your spelling
preferred
 to send any text safely and fastly. From solving a huge expression of arithmetic
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 to
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
powerpoints
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PowerPoint
show examples
. They make both our
education
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 and life easier.
For instance
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, in preparation
of
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for
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 exams or
to draft
Change the verb form
drafting
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 any document, earlier people spent most of their time
in
Change preposition
on
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such
Linking Words
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
. But now, they
makes
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make
show examples
 everything simple and it is
one
Correct determiner usage
a
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time
Correct your spelling
one-time
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 investment so have advantages like
time-management
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time management
show examples
 and cost-effectiveness.
Hence
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,
computers
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 are
key
Add an article
a key
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 feature of modern
education
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.
Further
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, mostly all the subjects
such
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 as Social studies, Mathematics,
Designs
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Design
show examples
 and many more taught more efficiently to students by
computers
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.
For example
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, Science
teacher
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teachers
show examples
 can make
powerpoints
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PowerPoint
show examples
 with animation on
the
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apply
show examples
topic
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topics
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 like contraction and relaxation of
heart
Correct article usage
the heart
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,
can
Correct pronoun usage
which can
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 be projected on screens and students learn with more clarity and understanding
that
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apply
show examples
how oxygenated and deoxygenated blood comes and leaves via chambers rather than studying theoretically through books only. So
this
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 technology
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 teaching more effective. I believe that the
aspects
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 of a good
education
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 can be taught using
computers
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 but not all, in terms of morals,values and ethics.These
aspects
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plays
Change the verb form
play
show examples
 a pivotal role in
education
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.
Education
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 isn't only memorizing and
got
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
Change the article
the
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first position in exams but
also
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 can make a society more powerful.
Therefore
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, I must say these
aspects
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 cannot be taught using
computers
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 alone. In conclusion,
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
show examples
 are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
part of
education
Use synonyms
 in
modern
Add an article
the modern
a modern
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 and globalized era.
This
Linking Words
 really proved helpful to both teachers and students in teaching and learning respectively.
However
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, teachings of
moral
Fix the agreement mistake
morals
show examples
 and ethics
never
Add a missing verb
are never
show examples
 fulfilled by
computers
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 solely.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow of your ideas by using clearer topic sentences and transitions between paragraphs.
grammar and spelling
Make sure to proofread your essay for minor grammar and spelling errors (e.g., 'computer's' should be 'computers', 'preffered' should be 'preferred', etc.).
task achievement
Expand your discussion on the aspects of good education that cannot be taught by computers, providing more specific examples or explanations.
task response
Your introduction effectively sets the topic and indicates your stance on the role of computers in education.
task response
You provided relevant examples, particularly the use of animations in Science lessons, which illustrates your point well.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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