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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some argue that schools should prioritize life skills such as working in teams and solving problems istead of traditional academics. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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Teaching
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The teaching
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 of life skills
such
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 as teamwork and
problem solving
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problem-solving
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 should be offered by schools rather than casual academic subjects. I totally agree with
this
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 statement as it leads to several benefits that have positive impacts
for
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on
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students
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students'
student's
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 personal and professional lives.
Firstly
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, working in a team has numerous priorities for children’s personal and mental achievements.
For instance
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,
due to
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groupworks
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groupworks,
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 students learn how to express their ideas clearly and without any hesitation as teamwork teaches them how to work with different personalities. Obviously, sharing thoughts freely and knowing how to act in groups can assist
to build
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in building
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a
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apply
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great self-confidence which is beneficial for their
careers
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career
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 path, especially for finding jobs. The reason is,
employers
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that employers
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 always try to find candidates with considerable confidence and with the ability
of dealing
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to deal
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 with people in a grouping. One clear example can be the sphere of media in which working together is important which is why every profession namely film director, actors, and camera operator has its own responsibility.
Moreover
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, teaching problem-solving at schools is essential because it encourages learners with the abilities like analyzing and adopting
for
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apply
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real life
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real-life
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 challenges.
That is
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 because, during
such
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kind
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kinds
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 of tasks, people have to think fast and logically in order to find solutions. After completing
huge
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a huge
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 amount of
task
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tasks
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 on tackling issues, people automatically learn how to act in different situations. Especially in emergency situations, acting quickly to call an ambulance or giving first aid help when someone is injured is crucial.
To conclude
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, encouraging life skills in schools can significantly benefit learners by
positive
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having positive
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affects
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effects
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for
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on
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 their career and mental beings.
In addition
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, they can build their self-confidence, resulting
great
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in great
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 outcomes for their professional lives.

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task achievement
Consider revising your thesis statement to make your stance clearer and more engaging.
task achievement
Include more specific examples and details to better support your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread your work to eliminate small spelling and grammatical errors, such as 'istead' which should be 'instead'.
coherence and cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structures to enhance the flow of your writing and maintain the reader's interest.
task achievement
Your passion for the subject and clarity of opinion in support of life skills development is commendable.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introductory structure, which helps the reader understand your overall argument.
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