In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reason for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

There is no denying the fact that personal trainers are becoming widely hired in some countries. Some may argue that people tend to prefer having

a special workout classes

Correct the article-noun agreement

a special workout class

special workout classes

show examples

than

Change preposition

show examples

going to the

gym

Use synonyms

, which I believe is a positive development

Change preposition

show examples

personal and social levels.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss the causes behind

this

Linking Words

trend and provide relevant examples.

To begin

Linking Words

with, nowadays, our modern life is busy with numerous tasks that

preventing

Wrong verb form

prevent

show examples

individuals

Use synonyms

from focusing on their health aspect. These tasks include family, job, and friends.

However

Linking Words

, hiring a personal trainer would be beneficial to fit the busy schedule with

exercising

Replace the word

exercise

show examples

sessions.

For example

Linking Words

, in my country, big companies are offering

in office

Add a hyphen

in-office

show examples

training sessions for their employees to ensure their well-being

while

Linking Words

performing job tasks.

Additionally

Linking Words

, from

financial

Add an article

a financial

show examples

perspective, employees are not required to pay extra money for transport or membership to be able to exercise.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it is

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

preferable to have workout classes at home enabling an extra

mean

Fix the agreement mistake

means

show examples

for

Remove the article

apply

show examples

better well-being and quality of life. Another point,

individuals

Use synonyms

tend to lean on simple and convenient ways for physical movements.

This

Linking Words

is because joining the

gym

Use synonyms

may require

certain

Correct article usage

a certain

show examples

time

Use synonyms

, day, and devices that are not,

all

Change preposition

at all

show examples

Use synonyms

time

Fix the agreement mistake

times

show examples

, suitable for some

individuals

Use synonyms

. As a matter of fact, I was a member of the

nine-rouds

Correct your spelling

nine-rounds

boxing

gym

Use synonyms

however

Linking Words

becuase

Correct your spelling

because

of the inconvenient timing for the boxing class, I had to quit as I could not fit it

Change preposition

into

show examples

schdule

Correct your spelling

schedule

In contrast

Linking Words

, Fitness

Use synonyms

time

Capitalize word

Time

show examples

gym

Use synonyms

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

is offering personal classes which are more

apealing

Correct your spelling

appealing

and encouraging. In conclusion, it is undeniable that hiring

personal

Correct article usage

a personal

show examples

trainer is more convenient for

individuals

Use synonyms

as it fits their busy calendar and

provide

Change the verb form

provides

show examples

them with the exact need

Change preposition

for

show examples

physical exercises.

On the other hand

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

gym

Use synonyms

and sports facilities are available, their limitation in

time

Use synonyms

and date is hindering people's encouragement to continue. I believe that

this

Linking Words

positive trend will lead to an increase in the community's well-being in the future.

mannalfall

Mar 22, 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Consider enhancing your thesis statement to clearly indicate both sides of the discussion (why this trend is positive or negative) rather than just stating a preference. This will help to align your task response with the question prompt more effectively.

coherence and cohesion

Try to include linking words and phrases to improve the flow of ideas and ensure smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs. This will also strengthen coherence.

task achievement

In your examples, aim to provide a bit more context or detail that establishes why personal trainers are a better option than traditional gyms or classes. This will help to support your points more comprehensively.

task achievement

Your choice of examples is relevant and helps illustrate your points well, especially the examples related to workplace training and personal gyms.

coherence and cohesion

Your introduction effectively outlines the main points you will discuss, providing a clear indication of what the essay will cover.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

330 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
More and more people today are spending large amounts of money on their appearance in order to look younger. Why do people want to look younger? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
n recent years, there has been a significant surge in the amount of money individuals are willing to spend on cosmetic procedures and products aimed at preserving a youthful appearance. This trend is driven by societal pressures and the growing importance of maintaining one's image. While the desire to look younger is understandable, this development has both positive and negative implications, which warrant closer examination.
7.5
band
The internet has dramatically altered our lives over the past few decades. While some people believe it has brought about significant positive changes, others argue that it has had negative effects on society
The internet has dramatically altered our lives over the past few decades. While some people believe it has brought about significant positive changes, others argue that it has had negative effects on society. In my opinion, the internet has provided many benefits but also poses some challenges that need to be addressed.
7.5
band
Some people think that older employees contribute most to the success of a company. Others think that younger people play a more vital role. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Every establishment often has two diverging sentiments about whether the younger or older workforce is the more significant player. A portion of people believe the more experienced a labourer is, the more crucial their position holds. While others argue that young staff may bring more interesting ideas to the table which is better for the institution involved. Although I certainly think the two arguments were valid, I believe both could co-exist and build an environment that may develop the enterprise to a new level.
6.5
band
You have seen an advertisement from a couple who live in Australia looking for someone to teach their two children, your language for a year write a letter to the couple in your letter. Explain why you think you would be suitable for the job. Say what else you could do for the family give you a reason reasons for wanting the job.
I am writing this letter as I saw your advertisement in the newspaper yesterday that you need a Hindi language tutor for your children.
8
band
As the world becomes technologically advanced,computers are replacing people at more and more jobs. what are some job positions that may be lost because of computers?What are some problems that may result from this situation?
The twenty-first century has ushered in a new era of revolution in the field of technology.Although it has helped a lot in improving the living standard of the population, at the same time the use of computers in every field has caused many folks to lose their occupations.This has led to some serious problems for the general public.

In some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reason for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

More and more people today are spending large amounts of money on their appearance in order to look younger. Why do people want to look younger? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

The internet has dramatically altered our lives over the past few decades. While some people believe it has brought about significant positive changes, others argue that it has had negative effects on society

Some people think that older employees contribute most to the success of a company. Others think that younger people play a more vital role. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

As the world becomes technologically advanced,computers are replacing people at more and more jobs. what are some job positions that may be lost because of computers?What are some problems that may result from this situation?