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Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart compares the salaries of five professions in the UK at the beginning of their careers and after three years of experience. The table illustrates average working hours per week of these professions.

The bar chart compares the salaries of five professions in the UK at the beginning of their careers and after three years of experience. The table illustrates average working hours per week of these professions.
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The bar graph and table chart illustrate the several occupations in the United Kingdom and their earnings at the beginning of their jobs and after three
years
Use synonyms
 and the weekly working
hours
Use synonyms
 for each profession.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that underground drivers were receiving more money,
while
Linking Words
 the nurses were earning the least. Whilst, firefighters and teachers were working more
hours
Use synonyms
 than other professions. By observing the chart, it can be seen that in the initial year, the earnings of police were more than 20,000
pounds
Use synonyms
, which remained the same after three
years
Use synonyms
. A minimal difference of 1000
pounds
Use synonyms
 was noticed in the salary of nurses in both
years
Use synonyms
 accounted 15000
pounds
Use synonyms
 and 16000
pounds
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, teachers were making up 31000
pounds
Use synonyms
 in the first year, which increased by 1 % after three
years
Use synonyms
. The salaries of firefighters and underground drivers were 41000 and 50000
pounds
Use synonyms
 at the start of their job, which
also
Linking Words
 increased by 1 % in the next year.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, police, nurses and underground drivers were working 40, 38 and 36
hours
Use synonyms
 per week. The firefighter and teacher were spending 55
hours
Use synonyms
 weekly on their job.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years, hours, pounds with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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