It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

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Taking a

risk

Use synonyms

in life is one of the common and crucial human behaviours that

people

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have to go through both professionally and personally. I certainly agree that taking a

risk

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is beneficial as it may lead to higher

rewards

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and personal development.

Firstly

Linking Words

, positioning your

lives

Fix the agreement mistake

life

show examples

stakes

Fix the agreement mistake

stake

show examples

often gives an individual higher

rewards

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Usually

Add a comma

Usually,

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when

people

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are at

risk

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, there is a certain goal beyond normal that they would want to achieve with a measured cost. If things

according to

Linking Words

the plan, it will give a lot of benefits for individuals.

For instance

Linking Words

, a worker at work

risk

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of making a decision because they knows it will benefit the company and if it is achieved,

then

Linking Words

he can be promoted.

Additionally

Linking Words

making

Verb problem

putting

show examples

your life at

risk

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gives

people

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ways to unlock their full potential.

This

Linking Words

is because often we underestimate ourselves whether we can finish a certain task or not. When that happens, it limits our discovery to know more about what we can achieve. By taking a

risk

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, individuals will do things out of the ordinary because they aim for greater

rewards

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thus

Linking Words

pushing

people

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to learn new things and their potential.

This

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often happens in a family where you have to do a job out of our speciality just to get paid for a living. In conclusion, taking a

risk

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gives 2 advantages for professional and personal lives,

that is

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giving higher

rewards

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and unlocking our full potential.

aulya2804Sun Mar 23 2025

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coherence and cohesion

While your ideas are clear, try to ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by examples. Make sure to clearly state your argument regarding the advantages versus disadvantages of risk-taking in a balanced way.

task achievement

Ensure to develop your points fully by providing clear examples or data that illustrate your points more effectively. This will strengthen your argument.

positive

Your introduction effectively establishes the importance of risk-taking in life, capturing the reader's interest and setting the tone for your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

242 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Opportunities
Growth
Innovation
Challenges
Self-discovery
Resilience
Uncertainty
Consequences
Calculated risks
Stagnation
Regret
Comfort zone
Entrepreneurship
Adventurous spirit
Thriving
Failure
Mitigate
Reap the rewards

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It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

You have recently started work in a new company. Write a letter to an English-speaking friend. In your letter explain why you changed jobs describe your new job tell him/her your other news

More and more people buy a wide range of household goods like television, microwave ovens and rice cookers. Is it positive or negative?

International travel has many advantages to both travelers and the country visited. Do you think advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

nformation technology enables many people to do their work outside their workplace (e.g. at home, when travelling, etc.). Do the benefits of this mobility outweigh the disadvantages?