There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Today's youth are under extreme pressure to achieve academic degrees.

Therefore

Linking Words

, many

people

Use synonyms

argue that if vocational subjects are withdrawn, it would increase children's focus on more

valuble

Correct your spelling

valuable

Use synonyms

subject

Fix the agreement mistake

subjects

show examples

such

Linking Words

as math or biology.

This

Linking Words

essay totaly

disagree

Change the verb form

disagrees

show examples

with removing practical

Use synonyms

subject

Fix the agreement mistake

subjects

show examples

from the

schools

Change noun form

school's

schools'

show examples

curiculum

Correct your spelling

curriculum

, because those

Use synonyms

subject

Fix the agreement mistake

subjects

show examples

can teach juvenile's

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

practical

life-skills

Correct your spelling

life skills

show examples

and give them

opportunity

Add an article

the opportunity

an opportunity

show examples

for more

Use synonyms

incomes

Fix the agreement mistake

income

show examples

. Practical subjects prepare students for real-world challenges.

Moreover

Linking Words

, pupils learn

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

important

lifeskills

Correct your spelling

life skills

show examples

through

this

Linking Words

type of

subjects

Fix the agreement mistake

subject

show examples

, where young

people

Use synonyms

will be prepared for adulthood.

Such

Linking Words

as, they can

lear

Correct your spelling

learn

show examples

how to cook through the cookery class and it will help them to become

independed

Correct your spelling

independent

during their academic life.

For example

Linking Words

, children who

have

Verb problem

did

show examples

not learn how to cook during

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

elementary school,

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

strugled

Correct your spelling

struggled

struggle

with

overweight

Add a missing verb

being overweight

show examples

during their academic studies where all the time they were consuming

fast-food

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fast food

show examples

. Practical skills can increase

humans finance

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human finances

show examples

. Despite the university degrees, today more and more academic

people

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are

strugling

Correct your spelling

struggling

with

incomes

Use synonyms

,because of

Correct article usage

a luck

show examples

luck

Correct your spelling

lack

show examples

work places

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workplaces

show examples

Therefore

Linking Words

, one pediatric doctor whose

Use synonyms

incomes

Fix the agreement mistake

income

show examples

was not enough to support her family

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

used to implement her cookery skills in making cakes and to earn extra money from

this

Linking Words

business. In conclusion, many

people

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are forcing their children that need to finish academic degrees. I

totaly

Correct your spelling

totally

disagree with their opinion that some practical

Use synonyms

subject

Fix the agreement mistake

subjects

show examples

such

Linking Words

as cooking or physical education to be removed from their school syllabus

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because those

Use synonyms

subject

Fix the agreement mistake

subjects

show examples

are

prepering

Correct your spelling

preparing

humans for real-world challenges and

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

can provide

Add an article

an opportunity

the opportunity

show examples

opportunity

Fix the agreement mistake

opportunities

show examples

for extra

Use synonyms

incomes

Fix the agreement mistake

income

show examples

elenakitanovaSun Mar 23 2025

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task achievement

Clarify your position in the introduction. Make sure to state your opinion clearly and what you disagree with.

coherence and cohesion

Improve the paragraphing. Each main idea should ideally be in its own paragraph for better coherence.

coherence and cohesion

Use more precise vocabulary and eliminate spelling errors, such as 'totaly' (totally) and 'curiculum' (curriculum) to enhance the professionalism of the essay.

task achievement

Strengthen conclusion by summarizing key points more effectively, reinforcing your opinion without introducing new ideas.

task achievement

You provide relevant examples that illustrate your points about the benefits of practical subjects.

task achievement

Your ideas on practical subjects preparing students for real-life challenges are insightful and relevant to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
38
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

251 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pressure
succeed
academically
non-academic
physical education
cookery
school syllabus
concentrate
academic work
well-rounded
enhancement
practical skills
balanced education system

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Fully explain your ideas

Some people think people working in creative arts should be financially supported by the government. Others think they should find financial support from other resources. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In today's time the internet is making it easy to study online from home. some prefer online courses to study and they think it is better. Others prefer classroom education. discuss both views and share your opinion.

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

Write an essay from the perspective of a lost or forgotten toy that has been discarded and left behind by a beloved owner. Explore the emotions that come with the sense of abandonment and the longing to be found again