In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

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Nowadays, many
students
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are struggling to use their after-graduation period
as well as
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their education
time
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. Alternatively, many parents are leading
such
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students
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into making different decisions
according to
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their
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life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
. There are several pros and cons
in
Change preposition
to
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either
laboring
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labouring
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or tripping after school and before university.
As a result
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, the whole
life
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of the student could be affected.
Additionally
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, looking forward to the educated and
proffessional
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professional
society and their attitudes, there are several factors that should be
concerned
Verb problem
considered
show examples
,
such
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as
,
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apply
show examples
creating a wealthy background before starting higher education
and
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apply
show examples
noticing the family feelings and spending more
time
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with them.
Firstly
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, voyaging and finding a
job
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can help new-graduated
students
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to have a rich experience before their university journey.
For example
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, seeking for an internship
oppertunity
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opportunity
in a company which are
simillarly
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similarly
similar
in the field of their
favor
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favour
show examples
, will prepare them for what exactly are they going to learn in college,
likewise
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, travelling
accross
Correct your spelling
across
the world can make them more mature and
also
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guide them to decide better in their personal
life
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. Fortunately, many
students
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would
be benefitted
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benefit
show examples
from pre-university adventure, if they
will
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apply
show examples
choose to decide
likely
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apply
show examples
.
Therefore
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, searching for a good
job
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or a
perferct
Correct your spelling
perfect
destination will be so beneficial for
students
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.
On the other hand
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, a
porportion
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proportion
of them are deciding to
hangout
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hang out
show examples
more with their family,
however
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, probably they are running away from the difficulties of
this
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issue.
For instance
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, tripping or entering
to
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apply
show examples
the
job
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market, as soon as graduating from high school, will make people confused or loosing their rest
time
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. Sadly, many
proffessionals
Correct your spelling
professionals
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
did
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
not rest after school and make bad decisions, are suffering from mental problems.
Thus
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, it is necessary to make a balance between leisure
time
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and working
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
,
as a result
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of avoiding
it's
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its
show examples
drawbacks.
Overall
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,
making
Verb problem
having
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a good
job
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experience or being more mature,
both
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are two positive points for
under graduate
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undergraduate
show examples
people,
however
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, they shall pay
enogh
Correct your spelling
enough
attention to their mental problems which can be caused
due to
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lack of
resting
Change the form of the verb
rest
show examples
.
Above all
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, parents and
students
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shall
Verb problem
should
show examples
notice the profits and bugs of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
using
the
Change the word
their
show examples
free
time
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before their college
life
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.
Moreover
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,
it is clear that
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by balancing the relation between relaxing and acting, they may find an optimal solution which will help them to gain as much as benefit they can from
this
Linking Words
leisure
time
Use synonyms
.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to clearly define the advantages and disadvantages in separate paragraphs for better coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points, as this will strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
You have introduced a relevant topic and presented different perspectives.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction gives a good overview of the topic you are discussing.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural immersion
  • Life experience
  • Work ethic
  • Career readiness
  • Self-discovery
  • Delayed gratification
  • Intellectual stagnation
  • Financial implications
  • Social dynamics
  • Academic trajectory
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