IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some say that young people should take a break between school and university to go travelling and learn more about the world. Others say that it is better for them to go straight to university from school, and then go travelling when they have finished their studies. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

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The concept of taking a pause before moving to university has sparked significant discussion. I firmly
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
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 that
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 will help
students
Use synonyms
 to ease
of
Change preposition
apply
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their brains and
serves
Correct subject-verb agreement
serve
show examples
 as
amuch
Correct your spelling
a
 more suitable
atternative
Correct your spelling
alternative
.
This
Linking Words
 perspective becomes clear when examining the
post travel
Add a hyphen
post-travel
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 break results of youth. They feel refreshed and become more active to start their new steps in education.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 will
also
Linking Words
 help
students
Use synonyms
 learn social
skils
Correct your spelling
skills
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 used in the real world and
this
Linking Words
 will result in them making good friends and being kind to others at the university. Clearly,
this
Linking Words
 trend suggests
that
Correct word choice
apply
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taking a break to travel around;
Neverthaless
Correct your spelling
nevertheless
,
students
Use synonyms
 who do not take
this
Linking Words
 path will suffer to get
along with
Linking Words
 other peers at study.
Linking Words
moreover
Add a comma
moreover,
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 they may indulge in books but they cannot make it big in dealing real world people. Considering
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 points, I stand by the assertion that having some personal
time-off
Correct your spelling
time off
show examples
 between school and university will help most of the
students
Use synonyms
 rather than just going to the college directly.

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task achievement
Add more specific examples to support your points. For instance, you could provide a specific anecdote about a student who traveled and how it positively impacted their university experience.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow of ideas. Ensure that each paragraph clearly connects to the thesis and that sentences within paragraphs logically lead from one to the next.
coherence and cohesion
Pay close attention to spelling and basic grammar to enhance readability. For instance, 'belive' should be 'believe', and 'amuch' should be 'a much'.
task achievement
You present a clear opinion: that travel is beneficial for students before attending university.
task achievement
The essay attempts to address both sides of the argument, which demonstrates an understanding of the prompt.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Gap year
  • Cultural enlightenment
  • Broader perspective
  • Maturity
  • Independence
  • Practical life skills
  • Budgeting
  • Time management
  • Problem-solving
  • Resilience
  • Adaptability
  • Academic mindset
  • Academic momentum
  • Economic argument
  • Financial strain
  • Professional exchanges
  • Study abroad programs
  • International experience
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