At the present time, the population of some countries includes relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situtation outweigh the disadvantages?

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In the prevailing era,

population

Add an article

the population

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of many countries are consistently increasing. The number of youth is more high as compared to old people. I believe that

this

Linking Words

phenomenon has more pros than cons. Commencing with the most salient upside why having more population of young ones brings benefits to countries is that they have vibrant energy to work hard physically and mentally as well. To simplify,

the

Correct article usage

apply

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most

Change preposition

apply

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young adults can work up to 12 hours

Change preposition

apply

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a day without facing much hardness that lead to

boost

Wrong verb form

boosts

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the productivity of a company.

As a result

Linking Words

, a company

leads to earn

Verb problem

earns

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more than enough which directly

contribute

Correct subject-verb agreement

contributes

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thrive

Verb problem

apply

show examples

the

economic

Replace the word

economy

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of a country.

Moreover

Linking Words

, Youth,

simply

Add a missing verb

are simply

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, regarded as

tech- savvy

Correct your spelling

tech-savvy

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and innovative. To justify,most of them introduce new technology to the world which is quite

benefical

Correct your spelling

beneficial

not for only people but

also

Linking Words

for countries.

For example

Linking Words

, Facebook

Linking Words

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

well-known

Correct article usage

a well-known

show examples

plateform

Correct your spelling

platform

in many parts of the world

Unnecessary verb

apply

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launched by the students of

Harverd

Correct your spelling

Harvard

University. the population of youth is continuously escalating compared to the

numer

Correct your spelling

number

of elder people. I believe the

the

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

phenomenon has more pros than cons.

rupindersamrow222Sun Mar 23 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting sentences. This will improve the logical flow of your essay.

coherence and cohesion

Provide a strong conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your opinion. This helps to reinforce your argument.

task achievement

Avoid repeated phrases and ensure correct subject-verb agreement. For example, 'population of many countries are...' should be 'the population of many countries is...'.

task achievement

Include more relevant and specific examples to support your points, making your arguments more compelling and comprehensive.

task achievement

You have made a clear argument that supports the number of young adults being advantageous for a country's economy.

task achievement

The use of an example (Facebook) adds relevance to your points about youth being innovative.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

190 words

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At the present time, the population of some countries includes relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situtation outweigh the disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

A government has a responsibility to its citizens to ensure their safety. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase spending on defense but spend less on social benefits. To what extent do you agree?

It is important for everyone, including young people, yo save money for their future.

Group or team activities can teach more important skills for life than those activities which are done alone. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Shouldn't everyone change their behaviour to help protect the environment?

Now a days, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.