IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

People can eat a wide variety of food that can be grown from other areas. As a results, people eat more food produced in other regions than local food. Do you think the advantage of this tend outweigh the disadvantage?

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In recent years, choices of
people
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 have changed a lot. Now,
people
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 like the taste of other places rather than local
food
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. I think
,
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apply
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 the disadvantages of
this
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 trend outweigh the advantages because
people
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 are neglecting the importance of their own crops and species. Many prefer to eat Italian, Chinese or other regional cuisines.
Due to
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 Advancements in the
food
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 industry,
people
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 have become bored with
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
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 local
meal
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meals
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. They adore a variety of cuisines but are unaware that
food
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 transported from other regions may modified in an undesirable or unhealthy way to achieve its current state.
For instance
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, recently thousands of tons of Chinese garlic were delivered by trucks to us.
As a consequence
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,
people
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 tend to buy
this
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 rather than indigenous species. Infect, a study claims that Chinese garlic might have cancer properties. But
instead
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 of growing regional crops, they eat a wide variety of
food
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 from other areas.
Further
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, remote or nonlocal
food
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 may be expensive or less cost-effective. Expenses of transportation sometimes are unbelievable.
For example
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, once every year onions arrive internationally in India , particularly after monsoon and they are so much expensive.
Hence
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, poor or
people
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 from disadvantaged communities cannot afford it.
Additionally
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, agricultural land is equal to gold if the crop is successfully grown. Regional
people
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 can adopt innovations and technology in the sowing and harvesting of crops so foreign species can be sown in our areas. Farmers can make a profit by selling and customers take advantage by buying foods at reasonable
price
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prices
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. In conclusion,
public
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the public
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 may have a variety of
food
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 from other regions but our land of gold can be lost and
thus
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 lead to a high cost of
food
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 which
grown
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is grown
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 in other places.
Therefore
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, the disadvantages of
this
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 trend definitely outweigh the advantages.

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Task Achievement
Consider adding more specific examples and details to support your ideas further. This will enhance the clarity and depth of your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on ensuring a smoother flow between your ideas, particularly within body paragraphs, to aid the reader's understanding.
Task Achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion on the topic, showing a thoughtful stance on the advantages and disadvantages of food sources.
Coherence and Cohesion
Good use of topic sentences in paragraphs, which helps to introduce the main ideas effectively.
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