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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the changes in production (millions)of three products in a garment factory from 1990 to 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the changes in production (millions)of three products in a garment factory from 1990 to 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph illustrates the shift in the
production
Use synonyms
 of three products in a garment factory from 1990 to 2010. It is clear from the graph that suit accounts for the highest value of
production
Use synonyms
 from 1990 to 2000, hitting its peak of
alomost
Correct your spelling
almost
 25
million
Use synonyms
 in 1995.
Then
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
manufacture
Replace the word
manufacturing
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 started to remain lower than 20
million
Use synonyms
 per year
since
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2000 to 2010.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the coat had a constant growth, with the manufacturing value shifting from 7
million
Use synonyms
 in 1990 and hit 25
million
Use synonyms
 in 2010. Meanwhile,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
dress productions seem to
rise
Wrong verb form
have risen
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 slightly from 10
million
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 in 1990 to 15
million
Use synonyms
 in 2010. To compare each product's manufacture, the suit
production
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 had the best performance
during
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1990 to 2000.
However
Linking Words
, with the continuous growth of coat, it
finally
Linking Words
 surpassed dress value in 1995 and suit
production
Use synonyms
 in the year 2000.
Whereas
Linking Words
 the dress remains the lowest manufacturer throughout the 20th century.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words production, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Production volume
  • Garment factory
  • Trend (increasing, decreasing)
  • Comparative analysis
  • Fluctuations
  • Market demand
  • Technological advancements
  • Production capacity
  • Raw material availability
  • Economic conditions
  • Notable observations
  • Significant shifts
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