Many things that use to be done in the home by hand are now being done by the machines. Does this development bring more advantage or disadvantage

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In the prevailing era,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
number of
home
Use synonyms
chores are done by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
machines
Use synonyms
instead
Linking Words
of doing
work
Use synonyms
by hand. I believe that
this
Linking Words
phenomenon has more cons than pros. Commencing with the most salient downside why doing
work
Use synonyms
at
home
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
machines
Use synonyms
has more disadvantages is that it promotes
sedentary
Add an article
a sedentary
show examples
lifestyle.
Machines
Use synonyms
do multiple works at
home
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
as washing clothes
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
washing
Correct article usage
the machine
show examples
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and cleaning floors by
vaccum
Correct your spelling
vacuum
and
people
Use synonyms
do not need to
do
Verb problem
make
show examples
any kind of
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
to complete
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
household tasks. They eat foods especially junk food
while
Linking Words
setting that may
harmful
Replace the word
harm
show examples
their health.
Serveral
Correct your spelling
Several
health related
Add a hyphen
health-related
show examples
problems,
such
Linking Words
as obesity, and certain cancers have become a major problem among individuals in many parts of the world
due to
Linking Words
their way of living. So,
machines
Use synonyms
are destructive
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
mankind.
Moreover
Linking Words
, doing
home
Use synonyms
tasks by
machines
Use synonyms
leads to escalates the unemployment rate because many less affluent
people
Use synonyms
depend on these kinds of
work
Use synonyms
. Many
people
Use synonyms
have become
workaholic
Fix the agreement mistake
workaholics
show examples
and they have to hire a maid to finish their daily tasks at their house. Most
people
Use synonyms
who are uneducated and belong to
Add an article
the middle
a middle
show examples
middle class
Add a hyphen
middle-class
show examples
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
can get
Add an article
a job
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
in the sector and they can earn money for
fullfiling
Correct your spelling
fulfilling
their basic needs,
such
Linking Words
as shelter,
grocery
Fix the agreement mistake
groceries
show examples
, and money for
education
Add an article
the education
show examples
of their children. Nowadays, needy
people
Use synonyms
have
replaced
Add a missing verb
been replaced
show examples
by
machines
Use synonyms
as
machines
Use synonyms
are less expensive than those individuals. Despite its
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
drawbacks, upsides can not be neglected because gadgets give enough
time
Use synonyms
to
people
Use synonyms
for
interacting
Wrong verb form
interact
show examples
with their family members. As
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
machines
Use synonyms
can not only do
work
Use synonyms
more quickly than
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
without any interruption but
also
Linking Words
complete
work
Use synonyms
accurately. Individuals can spend their spare
time
Use synonyms
with their loved ones
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
can help to make strong
bounding
Correct your spelling
bonding
show examples
with each other.
For example
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
lack of
time
Use synonyms
, many
missunderstanding
Correct your spelling
misunderstanding
misunderstandings
is
occuried
Correct your spelling
occurred
occupied
. Divorce has become a main problem
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
some parts of the world. Thanks to the gadgets that give more
time
Use synonyms
to
accomodate
Correct your spelling
accommodate
with family members.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
doing
work
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
machines
Use synonyms
helps to improve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
family relationships, I contemplate that
this
Linking Words
trend fosters many health problems
due to
Linking Words
sedentary lifestyles
coupled with
Linking Words
Correct article usage
the
show examples
employment rate
is
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
reduced because of
advent
Add an article
the advent
show examples
of
home
Use synonyms
gadgets.

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task response
Your introduction presents your opinion clearly but could provide a more nuanced view of both sides of the argument before stating your stance. A stronger thesis statement can enhance clarity.
task response
In your paragraphs, ensure that each point is fully developed with relevant evidence. Some ideas could benefit from further elaboration, which will strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your transitions between sentences and paragraphs are smooth and logical; this will improve the overall flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Some grammar and spelling errors, such as 'vaccum' and 'fulfilling,' should be corrected for better clarity. Proofreading can help improve the overall quality of your writing.
task response
Your essay demonstrates a clear stance on the issue. You have effectively conveyed your viewpoint about the disadvantages of machines in household chores.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Efficiency
  • Time-saving
  • Precision
  • Consistency
  • Carbon footprint
  • Resource depletion
  • Self-sufficiency
  • Expenditure
  • Physical exertion
  • Sedentary lifestyle
What to do next:
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