Some people claim that what people eat in many Western countries is unhealthy and that their diet is getting worse. Critics say that these countries should change their diet. What are your opinions on this?

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Western countries are widely known for their poor choices of diet which seems to progressively increase. Experts
also
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agree
to
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with
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this
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and preach the idea of eating healthy. In
this
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essay, I will explain why I strongly agree with
this
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statement
Firstly
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, the trend of consumption of unhealthy
diet
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diets
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is increasing because
West
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the West
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is known for
their
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its
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fast-pacing
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fast-paced
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lives which makes it
imposible
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impossible
for a human to focus on
the
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apply
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physical and mental
wellbeing
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well-being
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. To support my statement, the statistics provided by the students of Havard University
says
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say
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that humans in the contemporary era are more obese and depressed compared to the olden days which was known for its slow-paced lives .
Hence
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there is a
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declining
decline
decling
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declining
rate of healthy population
Secondly
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, it is important that one should know that
taking
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making
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decisions even as small as considering what kind of meal they should be having during that particular time of the day plays a vital role role in their life.
For example
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, an individual eating healthy food on
daily
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a daily
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basis tends to live longer and without any cardiovascular risks
unlike
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, unlike
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the person who eats a meal filled with fats and
carbhohydrates
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carbohydrates
. There
are
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is
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plenty of
evidences
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evidence
pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
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and
researches
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research
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which backs up the above instance.
hence
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the quality of living in
this
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era is compromised In summary, it is important to make the correct choice when it comes to living a healthy lifestyle which can help us improve our physical,mental and emotional well-being.

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task achievement
Consider expanding on your ideas to provide more depth. While your points are relevant, more elaboration could strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread for grammar and spelling errors. For example, 'imposible' should be 'impossible', and 'decling' should be 'declining'. Such errors can distract from your message.
coherence and cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structure to improve the flow of your essay. This will make it more engaging to read.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position on the topic, which is important for setting the context.
task achievement
You've included relevant examples that support your points, demonstrating an understanding of the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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