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Writing Samples
Band 5

Most countries spend much money on education as they start to realize the importance of education. In your opinion, which two subjects are the most important for young people and which one is least important. (Subjects : Literature, sports, mathematics, economics, physics, history, music, geography).

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Education plays a vital role in human life. In today's world, the focus of education often shifts towards
subjects
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 that align with societal needs and national priorities.
While
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 schools offer a wide range of
subjects
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, some hold greater value than others.
This
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 essay discusses which
subjects
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 play a more crucial role in education. In my opinion,
mathematics
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 and
economics
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 are the most important
subjects
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due to
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 their significance in various aspects of life.
For instance
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,
mathematics
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 is essential for problem-solving and dealing with statistics, which are fundamental in many projects and professions.
Similarly
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,
economics
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 is crucial for national development, as it equips students with knowledge about financial systems, budgeting, and resource management. Teaching these
subjects
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 prepares students to contribute effectively to their country's progress.
On the other hand
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, sports and music are often considered less essential in comparison. These
subjects
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 mainly depend on individual interests and talents, and those passionate about them can pursue sponsorships or specialized training. Unlike
mathematics
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 and
economics
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, which have a direct impact on a country's economy and technological growth, sports and music are more personal and recreational. In conclusion, the importance of different
subjects
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 varies based on national priorities.
However
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,
mathematics
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 and
economics
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 stand out as the most crucial
subjects
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due to
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 their practical applications and role in national development. The significance of other
subjects
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,
such
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 as sports and music, depends largely on societal needs and individual preferences.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to illustrate how mathematics and economics apply directly to everyday situations or real-world applications. This will strengthen your argument and provide clearer support for your main points.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance transitions between ideas, especially when moving from discussing the importance of mathematics and economics to explaining why sports and music are less essential. A clearer contrast can improve the flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
While your conclusion restates your main points well, it could benefit from a stronger closing statement that emphasizes the overall importance of education as a whole.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear opinion on the importance of specific subjects, demonstrating a solid understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction effectively sets up the discussion by acknowledging the varying importance of subjects in education, which is a thoughtful approach.
coherence and cohesion
You organized your ideas logically, making it easy to follow the argument structure throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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