IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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It is said that the primary goal of
science
Use synonyms
 should be to enhance the quality of individuals'
lives
Use synonyms
. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because a meaningful purpose will encourage
people
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 to study
science
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 more effectively and the impact on humans'
lives
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 is much bigger than deep scientific research that has no implication.
Firstly
Linking Words
, purposeful goals play an important role
to keep
Change preposition
in keeping
show examples
people
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engage
Wrong verb form
engaged
show examples
 in studying
science
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. Learning
science
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 undoubtedly requires a lot of effort. If
leaners
Correct your spelling
learners
show examples
 know that scientific theories and methods are essential fundamentals of innovations that make
lives
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simplier
Correct your spelling
simpler
,
this
Linking Words
 will be an effective encouragement.
For instance
Linking Words
, many students continue applying to universities that emphasize applications rather than pure
science
Use synonyms
 because they want to create technological devices and become famous like Steve Jobs.
This
Linking Words
 reason is much
stonger
Correct your spelling
stronger
 than the ones who choose pure
science
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 without clear outcomes.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it is much
Correct quantifier usage
more worthy
show examples
worthy
Replace the word
worth
show examples
to invest
Change the verb form
investing
show examples
 in scientific research that directly impacts
people
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's
lives
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 rather than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
future unproven theories.
Scienctific
Correct your spelling
Scientific
 discoveries require an
enomous
Correct your spelling
enormous
 amount
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 money and time; so
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
their returns should be very useful and widely
benefit
Replace the word
beneficial
show examples
 to citizens.
For example
Linking Words
, vaccination is one of the most impactful scientific
breakthrough
Fix the agreement mistake
breakthroughs
show examples
 saving
people
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's
lives
Use synonyms
 from severe diseases. Without scientific knowledge, individuals will suffer from illness and it will be hard to expand life expectancies. In conclusion,
people
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 should prioritize understanding of applications of
science
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 rather than pure
science
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 because
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
meaningful objectives impact
willing
Correct your spelling
the willingness
show examples
 of
people
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the consequences of
science
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 on the quality of
people
Use synonyms
's
lives
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 are more powerful than just another theory.

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your opinion, which is good. However, try to provide a brief outline of the main points you will discuss in the body of the essay to give the reader a clearer structure.
coherence and cohesion
You could enhance the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. For example, using linking words and phrases like 'Furthermore' or 'In addition' can help improve coherence. Make sure each paragraph clearly relates to the main argument in a logical manner.
task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples or evidence to support your main ideas. While you have mentioned students applying to universities and the impact of vaccination, additional details or specific studies can strengthen your argument.
task achievement
You clearly express your agreement with the statement and provide reasons for your stance, which is a strong foundation for your argument.
task achievement
Your use of examples like technological innovations and vaccinations effectively illustrates your points and demonstrates an understanding of the subject matter.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
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