IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Today our communications, medicine and transport systems all depend on computer technology. Our reliance on computer technology in these fields has created a dangerous situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
n recent days
someof
Correct your spelling
some of
all
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
indiviuals
Correct your spelling
individuals
 depend on data processing innovation mainly
such
Linking Words
 as conversation, drugs and transport. Our trust
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 computer
mechanism
Fix the agreement mistake
mechanisms
show examples
 has created a hazardous situation. I partially agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement
due to
Linking Words
balanced
Correct article usage
the balanced
show examples
 opinion I noticed in society.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
communuications
Correct your spelling
communications
communication
between
Change preposition
at
show examples
global
Correct article usage
a global
show examples
 level is highly
recommanable
Correct your spelling
recommended
 because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
business deals mostly through
exchange
Add an article
the exchange
an exchange
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 of
informationa
Correct your spelling
information
 and
conversation
Fix the agreement mistake
conversations
show examples
 with dealers.
For instance
Linking Words
, Zoom meeting
appication
Correct your spelling
application
 and Skype app
as well as
Linking Words
 Email contact.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Social communication with family and
friedns
Correct your spelling
friends
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
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 major benefit to the world through advanced technology.
For example
Linking Words
. If we stay
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
out of
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
then
Linking Words
 only a means of connection by What's up video calls and Duo calls are better to connect easily with all over
world
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the world
show examples
 not only
buddys
Correct your spelling
buddies
 and family
tree
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trees
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
transport is
an
Remove the article
apply
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easy
access
Fix the infinitive
to access
show examples
 in today's world by just booking online to travel to our
destiny
Replace the word
destination
show examples
. For illustration, Uber, Ola and some other private applications.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Medicine can
order
Wrong verb form
be ordered
show examples
 online with
prescription
Fix the agreement mistake
prescriptions
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
delivered within hours so easily
purchaseable
Correct your spelling
purchasable
 by making
payment
Fix the agreement mistake
payments
show examples
 through net banking or any other mode of
payments
Fix the agreement mistake
payment
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
Medpuls
Correct article usage
the Medpuls
show examples
 app and Pharmaeasy app are the
popular
Correct quantifier usage
most popular
show examples
 with their best service.

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task achievement
Improve the introduction by clearly stating your stance on the topic. A more formal tone and some rephrasing would help enhance its clarity.
task achievement
Ensure that all main points are fully explained and supported with relevant examples for a more comprehensive argument.
coherence and cohesion
Work on sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity and fluency. Some sentences are difficult to follow because of grammatical errors.
coherence and cohesion
Add a conclusion summarizing your main points and restating your position to create a more complete response.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples to support your points, such as mentioning specific apps like Zoom and Uber, which shows good awareness of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • reliance
  • cybersecurity
  • over-reliance
  • digital divide
  • data breach
  • cyberbullying
  • diagnostic machines
  • electronic health records
  • automated vehicles
  • predictive maintenance
  • real-time monitoring
  • vulnerability
  • misinformation
  • hacking
  • efficiency
  • navigation systems
  • traditional skills
  • system failures
What to do next:
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