Some people think that it is better for a country’s economy for people to spend money while others believe that it would be better for people to save money. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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A
country
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's economic stability relies on the
flow
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of
money
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.
People
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's demand for
product
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products
show examples
varies based on the product's prices.
However
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,
product's
Correct article usage
the product's
show examples
price is
also
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affected by
inflation
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.
Inflation
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is influenced by
money
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flow
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in
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economy
Add an article
the economy
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,
import
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imports
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and exports. Yet the
flow
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in
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economy
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the economy
an economy
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depends on how
people
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spend their
money
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. It is a chain where each
factors
Change to a singular noun
factor
show examples
depends on one another.
People
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spending
money
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to buy certain
products
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or services puts the
money
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into usage. Their
money
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spent
conitnues
Correct your spelling
continues
to
flow
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in the current and aggressively falls onto the retailer or the wholesaler's hand.
Then
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, the government increases their level of tax
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
the retailers because more
people
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are buying
products
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and spending.
This
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ultimately lowers
inflation
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expectation
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expectations
show examples
and
creats
Correct your spelling
creates
create
surge
Correct article usage
a surge
show examples
in demand. Why? Because
lower
Correct article usage
the lower
show examples
the
inflation
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is
lesser
Correct word choice
lower
show examples
the price of the
products
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are
Unnecessary verb
apply
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.
Therefore
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,
this
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is beneficial for the government and the
country
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's
economy
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, increasing tax
level
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levels
show examples
and lowering
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
inflation
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.
While
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some
people
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think that it is better if
people
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were to save
money
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, there are indeed
strand
Fix the agreement mistake
strands
show examples
of truth in it. Saving
money
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limits citizens to spend their fortunes on temporary wants. It saves you from overspending your wages on useless experiences, training you to be able to plan your
finance
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finances
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and budgets more efficiently, having
responsiblity
Correct your spelling
responsibility
and entering
adult
Correct article usage
the adult
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world
while
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sustaining yourself financially. No temporary wants fulfilled. Yet, arguably 70
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of
world's
Correct article usage
the world's
show examples
business market depends on short-term usages which are not to be identified as "Needs in everyday life". These can include
fashion
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the fashion
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industry, fast food, specific
furnitures
Change the wording
furniture
types of furniture
pieces of furniture
items of furniture
show examples
,
acessories
Correct your spelling
accessories
and even glass wears.
Such
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items are intriguing
however
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, not entirely useful to sustain normal life. Yet, in
modern
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the modern
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world
Add a comma
world,
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almost over 50
percent
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per cent
show examples
of an average
country
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's GDP relies on those
setors
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sectors
so it would be unreasonable to
abonden
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abandon
the whole
markets
Fix the agreement mistake
market
show examples
. I wholeheartedly believe
that is
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it better for
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country's
Correct article usage
a country's
show examples
economy
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is
Correct your spelling
if
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people
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were to spend more
money
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. In order to do
this
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, the government can implement strategies
such
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as supporting start-up businesses, importing
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
of
products
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to offer customers
range
Add an article
a range
show examples
of options,
allow
Wrong verb form
allowing
show examples
public promotions and adding
people
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's wages to encourage them to buy more,
spend
Correct word choice
and spend
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more.
This
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can
further
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benefit them back by fastening
money
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current, exploiting business owners, increasing
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
and lowering
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country's
Correct article usage
the country's
show examples
inflation
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, allowing the
country
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to
ohave
Correct your spelling
have
better economic planning,
upgrade
Correct word choice
and upgrade
show examples
their exports and imports, ultimately
contirbuting
Correct your spelling
contributing
to
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
stable
economy
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Strengthen your introduction to clearly outline the main points you will discuss in your essay. Consider rephrasing your thesis statement for clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that relates back to your thesis. This will improve the logical flow of your arguments.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or statistics to support your points about spending and saving money. This will make your arguments more convincing and relevant.
coherence and cohesion
Check for grammar and spelling errors, as these can detract from the overall clarity of your argument. For instance, "creats" should be "creates" and "acessories" should be "accessories."
task achievement
You effectively discuss both sides of the argument, which demonstrates an understanding of the complexity of the issue.
task achievement
Your conclusion offers a clear opinion, which helps to consolidate your argument for the reader.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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