IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Most countries spend much money on education as they start to realize the importance of education. In your opinion, which two subjects are the most important for young people and which one is least important. (Subjects : Literature, sports, mathematics, economics, physics, history, music, geography).

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It is argued that some nations end up spending huge
amount
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amounts
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 of money when they acknowledge the significance of education. I strongly agree that investments in lessons
such
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 as Economics and Sports are proven to be most beneficial because they teach children life-long responsibilities
whereas
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, history is proven to only focus on the past. One of the advantages of organisations giving resources to courses in Economics and Sports is that
,
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apply
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 it enables students to handle
responsibilites
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responsibilities
 from an early age. Whether it is learning how to manage finances or running a marathon in school
because
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apply
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these modules focus on educating youths about monetary transactions and
importance
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the importance
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 of physical health.
This
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lead
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leads
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 them to make rational choices later on in their lives.
For instance
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, in Nepal, corporates
funds
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fund
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 thousands of rupees to experts in
such
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 fields which resulted in
generation
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the generation
a generation
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 of
nation wide
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nationwide
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 economists and sportsmen.
However
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, institutes that invest money in
History related
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History-related
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 topics hold
a
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the
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 least importance because it is the studies of the past.
As it
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It
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 concerns learning about the historical time frames, which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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also
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 readily available on the internet, resulting in a total waste of time of the government resources.
Moreover
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, as per the
survery
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survey
 conducted by
The
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apply
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Harvard University, it was revealed that studies of
the
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apply
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ancient times
was
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were
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 the least
favored
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favoured
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 class to attend among students as there
were
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was
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 no new information
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this
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which
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 led to inadequate benefits. In a nutshell,
while
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 courses like History
focuses
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focus
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 only on the past,
as
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apply
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government agency spending bills in lessons like
,
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apply
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 Economics and Sports aid to be most advantageous because they inform a child
with
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of
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 life-long responsibility.

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coherence and cohesion
Consider providing clearer connections between your main points to enhance overall structure. Try to make it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.
task achievement
Make sure to clarify why you chose Economics and Sports over other subjects with more detailed examples or explanations of their importance.
task achievement
You clearly express your opinion on the subjects you believe are most and least important, which demonstrates good clarity of thought.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction sets up your argument effectively and presents your main idea well, providing a solid foundation for your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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