It is sometimes possible to pay somebody to do things you don't want to do, or don't have time to do, for example, household chores or looking after children. Is this a good way of providing work for others? Should people do these things themselves?

In
this
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rapidly growing world, where the
work
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-life balance is increasingly becoming a privilege, some
people
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hire employees for their non-revenue-generating
work
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. More commonly for household chores, babysitting, gardening,
as well as
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ice removal. I believe that
this
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will provide some with stable employment opportunities as well, and
people
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will have more time to do more important things. My stance on
this
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matter is
further
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explained. Several reasons can be put forth to support the benefits of hiring
people
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to do personal
work
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. The predominant cause is that it provides ample
of
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apply
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job opportunities to job seekers with a limited formal education or a less-fortunate background. Often, these jobs require a minimum education and basic skills. Gardeners, janitors, and car drivers are just a few examples.
Furthermore
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,
this
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will assist individuals to support their family with an additional
side-income
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side income
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. Perhaps, a
person
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can
also
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benefit by employing
people
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for the
work
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that they do not have time or are not willing to do. Outsourcing these kinds of
work
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can provide the
person
Use synonyms
with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
work
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-life balance.
This
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, in turn, fosters positive changes in their life,
such
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as
,
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apply
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developing new skills, keeping
body
Correct pronoun usage
their body
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healthy,
as well as
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visiting new places.
Besides
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this
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, it will maximise the individual’s potential and could
brings
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bring
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the best out of them.
To conclude
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, employing
people
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to do the
work
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that a
person
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does not have time or is unwilling to do will have some positive impacts on our society. It generates countless jobs and
also
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provides
income
Correct article usage
an income
show examples
source to
people
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with limited skills. On top of that, it allows a
person
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to utilise their full potential and balance their life.

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task achievement
Make sure to add more examples to support your ideas. For instance, you could discuss specific jobs that people commonly outsource.
coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the linking of your ideas. Use more transition words to guide the reader through your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to have clear topic sentences at the start of each paragraph to improve clarity.
structure
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument well.
ideas
You present relevant points about job opportunities and work-life balance, demonstrating your understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Employment opportunities
  • Economic contribution
  • Specialization
  • Efficiency
  • Work-life balance
  • Productivity
  • Leisure time
  • Stress reduction
  • Quality of work
  • Trained professionals
  • Dependency
  • Life skills
  • Personal fulfillment
  • Self-sufficiency
  • Accomplishment
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