The graph below shows the demand for electricity in England during typical days in winter and summer. The pie chart shows how electricity is used in an average English house.

The graph below shows the demand for electricity in England during typical days in winter and summer. The pie chart shows how electricity is used in an average English house.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The graph below shows the demand for electricity in England during typical days in winter and summer. The pie chart shows how electricity is used in an average English house.
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The first chart illustrates the one-year usage of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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electricity
Use synonyms
in the UK in two different categories which are summer and
winter
Use synonyms
. The pie chart
also
Linking Words
, expands
how
Change preposition
on how
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English people use
electricity
Use synonyms
in their houses. It is notable that, on the whole, they use more
electricity
Use synonyms
in
winter
Use synonyms
, especially for heating their rooms and water.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the least demand relates to the periods
which
Change preposition
in which
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people are sleeping for
both
Use synonyms
seasons.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
both
Use synonyms
winter
Use synonyms
and summer daily demands
,
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apply
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are
flactuating
Correct your spelling
fluctuating
on
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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approximately 40000 and 15000 units.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
both
Use synonyms
groups are experiencing several peaks and minimums.
Accordingly
Linking Words
, the first peak for
winter
Use synonyms
occures
Correct your spelling
occurs
in
Change the preposition
at
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3 am, and
then
Linking Words
it has its first minimum about 3 hours after that.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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the highest peak happens at
the
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night, around 11 pm, which is the highest value for
both
Use synonyms
groups.
Also
Linking Words
, the lowest demand is in the summer, at 4 am.
Secondly
Linking Words
, heating gains the most proportion of daily usage of the
electricity
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
On the
Change preposition
The
show examples
contrary to expectations, lighting, TV, radio and electrical tools have the least usage of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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electricity
Use synonyms
in the home.
Also
Linking Words
, kitchen issues,
such
Linking Words
as ovens, kettles and washing machines,
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
the second stage by the percentage of 17.5.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words electricity, winter, both with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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