IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Fast food is a part of life in many places. Some people think this has bad effects on lifestyle and diets. Do you agree or disagree?

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in
Capitalize word
In
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 today's fast-paced world, fast
food
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 has become an indispensable part of many people's lives.
While
Linking Words
 some argue that it is deteriorating our health and acting as a slow poison, I wholeheartedly agree with
this
Linking Words
 notion and will discuss several relevant points to support my argument in the following paragraphs.
Although
Linking Words
 ordering fast
food
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 is a convenient option for busy families who are often too occupied to cook healthy meals at home, the
food
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 offered by fast-
food
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 chains typically consists of deep-fried items packed with added sugars, salt, and trans fats. These unhealthy ingredients contribute to obesity, which is the root cause of numerous life-threatening diseases, including cardiovascular issues, heart attacks, and cancer.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the rise of fast
food
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 has led to a loss of cultural traditions, as people increasingly turn to take-out restaurants for their meals
due to
Linking Words
 convenience and lower prices. Cooking traditional meals at home is often reserved for special occasions, resulting in a decline
of
Change preposition
in
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 cultural practices and family gatherings
centered
Change the spelling
centred
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 around
food
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. In summary, fast-
food
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 chains have a detrimental impact on our lives, both in terms of health and cultural traditions. It is crucial for individuals to adopt a wise approach by focusing on a balanced diet to promote better health.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples and evidence to strengthen your points, particularly regarding the health impacts of fast food and its effect on cultural traditions. This will improve the relevance and depth of your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph contains a clear main idea that directly relates to the thesis statement. This can enhance the logical flow of your essay and improve coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly presents your position on the topic and outlines your main points, which helps to engage the reader right from the start.
coherence and cohesion
You have a strong concluding statement that effectively summarizes your arguments, reinforcing your position on the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Obesity
  • Heart disease
  • Diabetes
  • Sodium
  • Nutritional habits
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Addictive eating patterns
  • Socioeconomic disparities
  • Convenience
  • Affordable
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