IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You have recently bought some camping equipment but it was faulty. You phoned the shop but no action has been taken. Write a letter to the shop maneger. In your letter, -Describe the problem with the equipment -Explain what happened when you phoned the shop -Say what you would like the maneger to do

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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to express my concern about the campaign tent which I
brought
Correct your spelling
bought
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 from your shop yesterday.
Firstly
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, there is no instructions pamphlet in the box
that
Change preposition
on
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 how we will
installed
Change the verb form
install
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 it.
Moreover
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, some of the
rodes
Correct your spelling
ropes
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 are broken and the cloth is small in size . Afterwards, I called
on
Change preposition
apply
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your shop to
know
Verb problem
find
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that
Change preposition
out
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 how
can
Verb problem
apply
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I replace the item or get my refund, but no one picked up the call. Even I did not
received
Change the verb form
receive
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 any call back from them. In the evening, I tried again to connect with your team at that time they picked
my
Change preposition
up my
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 call.
Instead
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 of listening to my problems, they gave me excuses. It would be really appreciated if you provide me
Add the preposition
with the
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 new tent or give
my
Correct pronoun usage
me my
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 money back. I would like to suggest
you
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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that you have to work on your customer
services
Fix the agreement mistake
service
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 because if the services are not effective
then
Linking Words
 no one
prefer
Change the verb form
prefers
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 to buy things from your shop. I am looking forward
for
Change preposition
to
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 your prompt response. Yours faithfully, Manjinder Kaur

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coherence and cohesion
Try to use clearer transitions between different parts of your letter to enhance the logical flow of ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs focus on single ideas and maintain clarity throughout the description of your concerns.
task achievement
Be mindful of grammatical accuracy, particularly in verb tenses and plural forms, to improve the overall professionalism of your letter.
task achievement
You clearly articulated the problems you faced with the tent and explained your experience when you called the shop.
task achievement
Your letter has a polite tone, which is essential for effective communication in a formal context.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • faulty
  • equipment
  • camping
  • manager
  • describe
  • problem
  • malfunctioning
  • response
  • replacement
  • refund
  • repair service
  • contact
  • action
  • complaint
  • tent
  • sleeping bag
  • issue
  • resolution
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