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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below shows the number of international graduates from UK universities in 2000 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. ZHa

The graph below shows the number of international graduates from UK universities in 2000 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. ZHa
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This
Linking Words
 bar chart demonstrates
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the students
graduated
Correct pronoun usage
who graduated
show examples
 from the UK
institues
Correct your spelling
institutes
 in 2000 and 2015 year. On the Y
axis
Add a comma
axis,
show examples
 we can see the
name
Fix the agreement mistake
names
show examples
 of the universities and
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
on the x
axis
Add a comma
axis,
show examples
 we can notice the proportion of graduates. There are two bars , blue and red which
illustrates
Correct subject-verb agreement
illustrate
show examples
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the average percentage of scholars in the
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 2000 and 2015 respectively.
Overall
Linking Words
, we can visualize the rise in
education
Add an article
the education
show examples
 sector as more students
took
Wrong verb form
take
show examples
interest
Correct article usage
an interest
show examples
 in learning.
That is
Linking Words
 why more individuals graduated in 2015.
Firstly
Linking Words
, in 2000 the lowest
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
 of degree holders
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 in
london
Change the capitalization
London
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 and the highest was in Cambridge. In 2000,
london
Change the capitalization
London
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, bristol,
bath
Correct word choice
and bath
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 qualified around 5
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of the candidates and
oxford
Capitalize word
Oxford
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 and
cambridge
Change the capitalization
Cambridge
show examples
 around 15
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. By looking
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the year 2015, we can conclude that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most alumni were educated in
london
Change the capitalization
London
show examples
, oxford and
cambridge
Change the capitalization
Cambridge
show examples
 universities with a ratio between 20 and 25.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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