IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

In many cities, there are areas of land that are used as parks. With increasing population levels, these areas would be better used to provide more housing. Do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
There is no denying the fact that
parks
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 important.
While
Linking Words
 it is a commonly held
belife
Correct your spelling
belief
beliefs
 that there are
speace
Correct your spelling
space
 of lands that are
using
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 by
puplice
Correct your spelling
public
 places. It
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
 an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that we should be using areas to build houses.
Body paragraph 1
To
be begin
Change the verb form
begin
show examples
 with, the park is not
important
Rephrase
as important
show examples
 as houses.
In other words
Linking Words
, we can build many
parks
Use synonyms
 in different
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
show examples
 of the city.
In addition
Linking Words
, we can use the streets to do sports
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 running and yoga
intead
Correct your spelling
instead
 of
parks
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, If you want to do
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
 or
having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 fun you can do it in any place .
Body paragraph 2
Another point to consider,
Use synonyms
parks
Add a missing verb
is parks
show examples
mebay
Correct your spelling
may
bay
leds
Correct your spelling
leads
 to big problems.
It
Add a verb
It is
It was
show examples
 possible to say that
parks
Use synonyms
 can cause fire because they have many trees.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
parks
Use synonyms
 can be used as
house
Fix the agreement mistake
houses
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
crimnal
Correct your spelling
criminal
criminals
 and bad people.
For instance
Linking Words
,
According to
Linking Words
 a study conducted at the University of London in 2010, 75% of crime in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
planning
Wrong verb form
planned
show examples
 from
parks
Use synonyms
.
Conclusion
In conclusion, despite people having different views, I believe that we should focus
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
buliding
Correct your spelling
building
 homes
intead
Correct your spelling
instead
 of
parks
Use synonyms
 because the home
more
Add a missing verb
is more
show examples
 important than
parks
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Your introduction should contain a clear statement of your opinion and a preview of the main points you will discuss.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use clearer topic sentences in each paragraph to guide the reader. This will improve the logical structure.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and explanations to support your main points. This strengthens your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to check your spelling and grammar to improve the overall clarity of your writing.
task achievement
You have expressed a clear opinion on the topic and outlined your stance on the importance of housing over parks.
task achievement
You included some examples and reasoning to support your argument, which is a good practice.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban landscape
  • green space
  • recreational opportunities
  • mental well-being
  • ecosystems
  • urban heat island effect
  • biodiversity
  • water management
  • housing shortages
  • residential development
  • accommodate
  • urban areas
  • population density
  • sustainable development
  • quality of life
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