Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is undeniable that punishing people who drive illegally ensures traffic safety, and many individuals believe measures should be strict.
Although
Linking Words
I can see convincing arguments behind punishing drivers for safety purposes, I strongly opine that a suitable system is the best way to decrease crime rates. On the one hand, strict punishments have helped departments to make great achievements in the field of controlling drivers’ driving behaviours, attitudes and awareness.
As a result
Linking Words
, the rate of traffic accidents in cities has declined; some cities even get zero.
For instance
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
survey conducted by the University of Hong Kong, 22% of accidental traffic events,
such
Linking Words
as speeding, car crashes, and drunk driving, are controlled effectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the mild approach to treating people has become more popular in society.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if strict measures were used too frequently on people, they might create a sense of worry about driving and lead to a loss of confidence in justice,
instead
Linking Words
of mortifying their behaviour.
For example
Linking Words
,
provided
Verb problem
apply
show examples
statistics by
Tokyo
Correct article usage
the Tokyo
show examples
University of Technology show that 65% of drivers prefer a mild approach rather than a strict one. In conclusion, strict punishments do work to retard public driving awareness.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
the idea of running a strict system cannot be supported. After
thorough
Correct article usage
a thorough
show examples
analysis
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
Linking Words
subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over strict measures will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of
this
Linking Words
, a mild approach to treating illegal drivers is necessary.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider restating the main argument more clearly in the conclusion to emphasize your stance on the issue.
coherence and cohesion
Use more transitional phrases to enhance the flow of your ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Provide a more balanced view in the body paragraphs by addressing the advantages and disadvantages of both approaches before concluding with your opinion.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples that support your viewpoints, particularly in relation to the effectiveness of strict punishments.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction clearly outlines the topic and presents a clear opinion, which is a strong point of your essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • deterrent
  • repeat offenses
  • infrastructure improvements
  • public awareness campaigns
  • reckless driving
  • traffic management technologies
  • intelligent traffic lights
  • speed cameras
  • public transportation
  • minimize
  • enhance safety
  • allocate funds
  • road signs
  • road safety
What to do next:
Look at other essays: