IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You paid a refundable deposit when you rented an apartment. You left the apartment in good condition but the Landlord won't return your deposit. Write a letter to the landlord. In your letter explain why you are writing ask for the return of your deposit inform the landlord of possible legal action

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Dear Sir, I am composing the letter to attain your attention towards the paid refundable
invest
Replace the word
investment
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 as a security fee for the apartment which I rented 1 month ago in Malton Mississauga . I left the premises in the same condition but did not get the money back. I am moving to another city where I would need money to manage my expenses ,definitely need to deposit to the next Landlord for rent .The lease agreement had
clouse
Correct your spelling
clause
 of the security deposit to be returned within a week if there would be no damage but
still
Add a comma
still,
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 I do not have a transaction in my account from your side reflecting the security deposit back. I do not want to ruin our relationship, so please try to follow the terms and conditions that had been included in the rental contract or I will have to go to the police hearing . I am looking forward to hearing from you . Yours Sincerely Saman

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task achievement
Make sure to phrase your request more formally and directly. For example, instead of 'I am composing the letter to attain your attention,' you could say 'I am writing to formally request the return of my deposit.'
coherence
Try to clarify the timeline regarding the deposit return and your subsequent needs more distinctly. This will help in understanding the urgency. You could separate the points you’re making into clear sentences.
coherence
Ensure that your closing statement aligns with the formal tone of your letter and articulates your expectation for a prompt response clearly. For example, you could specify the time frame in which you expect to hear back.
task achievement
The letter is polite and shows your intention to maintain a positive relationship with the landlord, which is commendable.
coherence
The structure of your letter is reasonable, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • refundable deposit
  • rental agreement
  • amicably
  • tenancy
  • diligently maintained
  • legal proceedings
  • inspect
  • wear and tear
  • withhold
  • non-compliance
  • promptly
  • documented evidence
  • liability
  • small claims court
  • tenants' rights
  • non-negotiable
  • deadline
  • escalation
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