IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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The advancement of technology made it possible for people to
work
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 from
home
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 and
also
Linking Words
 for
student
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a student
show examples
 to complete their education at
home
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 as it is less expensive and easy to reach. I think
this
Linking Words
 is a positive development with lots of benefits that
i
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I
show examples
 will
going
Change the verb form
go
be going
show examples
 to
dicuss
Correct your spelling
discuss
 in the following paragraphs. First of all, with the help of technology
while
Linking Words
 working from
home
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 adults can make their own schedules and put
focus
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 equally on the
work
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 and their life and can make a good
Use synonyms
work life
Add a hyphen
work-life
show examples
 balance.
For instance
Linking Words
,a study shows that a working individual
spend
Correct subject-verb agreement
spends
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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two hours travelling from
home
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 to
work
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 or office to
home
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.Which they could have used on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
more productive things as eating
healty
Correct your spelling
healthy
 or with their family. Which afterwards makes them
realx
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relax
 to put more
focus
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 on their
work
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 or studies.
Moreover
Linking Words
 studying and remote
work
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 is a blessing for those who are suffering from physical
disablities
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disabilities
 and are unable to go to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public places.As they can get the full personalized
eduacation
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education
 at their
home
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 without causing
distruption
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disruption
 to their
well being
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well-being
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
 ,
potential
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the potential
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 for
enchanced
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enhanced
focus
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 and productivity without the traditional office or classroom distractions.Which they could use
to
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apply
show examples
for their personal growth to
focus
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 more on individuals rather than the whole class which is difficult for one teacher to put on all the students. In conclusion, with the help of
gadgets
Add a comma
gadgets,
show examples
 it is easy to
work
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 and study remotely which
offered
Wrong verb form
offers
show examples
 people immense benefits
such
Linking Words
 as
Use synonyms
work life
Add a hyphen
work-life
show examples
 balance , personalized study, and for those who
are disable
Change the verb form
are disabled
show examples
.

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grammar
Make sure to correct grammatical errors and ensure proper subject-verb agreement. For instance, 'student' should be 'students', and 'i' should be 'I'.
content
Try to develop your main points further. Each paragraph could benefit from more elaboration and supporting details to strengthen your argument.
cohesion
Ensure that your essay flows smoothly from one idea to the next by using transition words and phrases. This will enhance coherence and make your arguments clearer.
structure
Expand your conclusion to summarize the key points presented in the essay more explicitly. This will reinforce your argument and leave a stronger impression on the reader.
content
You present a clear opinion that working and studying from home has benefits, which is essential for task achievement.
example
Your essay includes relevant examples to support your points, such as the travel time saving example, which adds value to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • remote work
  • e-learning
  • accessibility
  • inclusive
  • productivity
  • personalized learning
  • disciplined routine
  • interpersonal skills
  • cybersecurity
  • sustainability
  • work-life balance
  • physical disabilities
What to do next:
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