Some people believe that adventurous travel experiences can significantly enhance personal growth and development. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is argued that getting involved in dangerous trips has a positive impact on
self improvement
Add a hyphen
self-improvement
show examples
and
muturaity
Correct your spelling
maturity
mutuality
. In
this
Linking Words
essay, I will explain why I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
statement.
Firstly
Linking Words
, exposing ourselves to unexpected conditions may cause serious health issues, especially for those who are not familiar with
this
Linking Words
kind of sport.
For example
Linking Words
, some people joined a diving team without being aware of the consequences, Unfortunately, they couldn't complete the trip as they could not handle the high pressure under the ocean, not only putting their lives at a very high risk
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
Linking Words
forcing the team to stop their activities trying to rescue them.
Secondly
Linking Words
, some people may suffer from long-term psychological
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
show examples
, the feeling of extreme fear or
dangour
Correct your spelling
danger
will distract the individual life and social relationship.
Also
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
may require a life-long meditation to get released from the fear and restless emotions after
such
Linking Words
a harsh memory.
For instance
Linking Words
, those who used to travel around the world have lost the connection with
thier
Correct your spelling
their
communities
as well as
Linking Words
their cultures, which leads them to depression when get older. In conclusion, risky tours do not always play a positive role in building
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
personality;
Moreover
Linking Words
, the harmful impact may cause serious problems
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
individuals and society that are not easy to overcome.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider providing a counterargument or acknowledgment of the opposing view to enhance the depth of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread your work to correct spelling errors (e.g., 'maturity', 'danger', 'their') and improve overall clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to help with the flow and transition between ideas, making the argument more coherent.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion against adventurous travel and provides reasons to support this position.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: