IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that technology has made the lives of workers easier whilst other people disagree. To what extent do you agree or disagree

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A sizable share of citizens consider that cutting-edge technology has made a big difference in the lives of employees,
while
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 others have the opposite opinion.
While
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 I understand that it might have some negative influence,
overall
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 I agree with
this
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view
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.
According to
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 the opponents of modern technology,
this
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 development limits
interaction
Add an article
the interaction
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 of
workers
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. Because quite a lot of operations might be carried out from home,
people
Use synonyms
, quite often, have no opportunity to cooperate with their coworkers,
sharing
Wrong verb form
share
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 their experience or knowledge, or just have a conversation about their personal issues.
This
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 might lead to
the
Correct article usage
a
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 situation when
workers
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 might feel lonely or might lose social skills.
For example
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, more
people
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 nowadays cannot build their relationships with the opposite gender.
However
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, I do not support
this
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view
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 because it is
people
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 who decide whether they are willing to organise face-to-face meetings with their colleagues. I share the
view
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 of those who are convinced that technology might be highly beneficial to
workers
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 because it
enable
Change the verb form
enables
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 them to have more free time.
This
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 is because
people
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 have a lot of opportunities to do their work tasks not only in a
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
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. They might do
this
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,
for example
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, during commuting using their smartphones or laptops. If it is so, they might finish their work day earlier and spend more free time with their nearest and dearest or their friends, or just relax which
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 a positive influence on their mental health. To illustrate, recent research published in the Times broadsheet reported that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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peoples
Change to a genitive case
people's
peoples'
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 emotional conditions have
became
Change the verb form
become
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 better nowadays. In conclusion,
although
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 I accept that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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technological progress might have some negative impact on
workers
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 I take the
view
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 that
this
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 development has made their lives more enjoyable and relaxed because they have much more free time now.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly addresses a singular main idea with supporting details. Consider refining your points for better clarity.
task achievement
Try to provide a more balanced argument by acknowledging the positive and negative aspects of technology equally, which can strengthen your overall position.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to illustrate your points, making your argument more compelling and relatable to the reader.
task achievement
The introduction effectively outlines your main stance on the topic, and the conclusion summarizes your viewpoint clearly.
coherence and cohesion
The essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic, showing both sides of the argument, which is commendable.
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