IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six-year-old child. Write a letter to the parents. In your letter - explain why you would lile the job -give details of why you would be a suitable person to employ -say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia.

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Dear Parents, My name is Rupinder Kaur. I have read an advertisement in an Australian magazine that you are looking for a
care taker
Correct your spelling
caretaker
show examples
 for looking
afer
Correct your spelling
after
 your six-year-old child. I've 5 years experience as a babysitter in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Australia. so, I need
job
Add an article
a job
show examples
 in the field to
fulfilling
Wrong verb form
fulfil
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 my basic needs,
such
Linking Words
 as buying
grocery
Fix the agreement mistake
groceries
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. In my leisure time, I would like to meet my friends who have been living in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Australia
since
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a decade.
Sometime
Replace the word
Sometimes
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, I like to spend some spare time in the park for relaxation. I've tremendous personal
quality
Fix the agreement mistake
qualities
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as patience, responsibility, and love for children.
Besides
Linking Words
, I hold a babysitting certificate. I've attached my resume with
this
Linking Words
 letter. If you find the job is suitable for me, you can either call
and
Correct word choice
or
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 email me. My phone number is +1 212 123 1232
or
Correct word choice
and
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email
Correct pronoun usage
my email
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 is [email protected] Looking forward
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 your positive consideration. Lovingly, Rupinder Kaur.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure to have a clear opening statement that introduces your intentions more explicitly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to break down your paragraphs into clearer ideas; for example, separate your suitability and personal qualities into distinct sections.
Task Achievement
Include a more detailed explanation of your experience and how it relates specifically to the job requirement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider concluding your letter with a more formal closing phrase.
Task Achievement
You demonstrate a clear intention to take up the job and provide relevant personal qualities in your responses.
Suitable Writing Tone
Your friendly tone contributes positively to the overall impression of the letter.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • enthusiasm
  • responsibility
  • patience
  • reliable
  • experience
  • childcare
  • skills
  • certifications
  • first aid
  • child development
  • explore
  • attractions
  • cultural experience
  • local food
  • nature
  • adventure
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