IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

More and more people are choosing to eat healthy food and exercise regularly. Why? What we do to encourage this?

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There is debate over why society starting to eat healthy food, make it so popular, and enhance the aesthetic of sports and a healthy lifestyle. Nowadays more than ninety per cent of
public
Add an article
the public
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 use social networks, where they always can see many videos where individuals describe
about
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apply
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their day, what they
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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do, and in
Linking Words
this video
Fix the agreement mistake
these videos
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 content makers add recipes for healthy food and how they go to the gym, and after showing their strong, attractive and slender body, a human who watches
this
Linking Words
 video start to like
this
Linking Words
 kind of life and try to strive for a similar way of living. Encouraging
population
Add an article
the population
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 to be healthy can start from school where children should be explained the dangers of obesity and how to avoid it.
Also
Linking Words
, talk about diets and the fact that children should reduce their consumption of junk foods.
In addition
Linking Words
, gyms
also
Linking Words
 can add promotions or make a discount for
crowd
Fix the agreement mistake
crowds
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 who invite their friends or relatives to go to the gym to do sports. In conclusion, I can say that social networks play a crucial role for to spread and increasing public interest in sports and the desire to strive for an aesthetic life, which is broadcast by social networks.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that this idea is directly related to the topic.
task achievement
Use more specific examples to strengthen your argument, especially regarding the effectiveness of social media in promoting healthy lifestyles.
coherence and cohesion
Improve sentence variety and grammar to enhance clarity and engage the reader.
task achievement
The essay addresses the topic of healthy eating and exercise while acknowledging the role of social networks in this trend.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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