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Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart shows the percentage of international students enrolled in British universities in two years, 1990 and 2014.

The bar chart shows the percentage of international students enrolled in British universities in two years, 1990 and 2014.
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The bar chart illustrates the proportion of foreign
students
Use synonyms
 who study in British universities in two time periods (1990-2014).
Overall
Linking Words
, the number of
students
Use synonyms
 in Brighton College was the highest in the two time period. Notably,In 2014, the percentages increased in all the universities, except in Cardiff, as its figure decreased in the given period. The highest figures in 2009, were Brighton, Birmingham,Liverpool,and Leeds, with about 13 %,12%,8%,and 10%, respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the lowest
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
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 were,
Manchester
Change preposition
for Manchester
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, Glasgow,Edingbourough, Bristol, Huddersfield, and Cardiff. These figures recorded 6%,4%,3%,5%,1%,and 2%, respectively. In the following era, most of the figures grew from 1% to 3 %, with Manchester increased to 8%, Glassgow to 6%,Edinghbourogh to 6%, Britsol rose to 6%, Leeds to 10%, Huddersfield to 3%.
Linking Words
Similarly
Add a comma
Similarly,
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 Brighton witnessed a growth of 13%, and it continued its record with the highest proportions . As the data clearly indicates, the
international
Correct quantifier usage
number of international
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 at Birmingham College rose dramatically to 12%,
while
Linking Words
 Cardiff
bar
Capitalize word
Bar
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 fell to 1%. The most interesting feature
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 is that the number of
students
Use synonyms
 in Liverpool,
reported
Add a missing verb
was reported
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 the same in 2009, and 2014.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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