IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

most of people do not care enough about environmental issues. To what extent do you agree or disagree eith this statement?

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The majority of
people
Use synonyms
 are lack of sufficient concern about environmental
issues
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. I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and in the following essay, I will explain why. I disagree with the statement because,
first,
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the government is effectively raising public awareness of the ecological crisis.
For instance
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, the government published how to properly recycle, proposes solutions to reduce global warming, and promotes laws enacted for the environment through advertisements on public transportation and bulletin boards in the parks. Owing to these efforts,
people
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 can access information about the environment in daily life,
thus
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people
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 would not be unaware of environmental
issues
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. Another reason why I disagree is the news will report the natural disasters around the world
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 so that
people
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 can see the environmental
issues
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 really happening in the world, which could increase the observation of environmental problems.
Moreover
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, the final reason I disagree is
people
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 can easily
dell
Correct your spelling
deal
show examples
 the climate change and observe the differences in habitats.
For example
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, because of global warming,
people
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 are already
deel
Correct your spelling
dead
 the temperature in summer is getting
hoter
Change the word
hotter
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, and the season is longer than before,
as well as
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 winter has the same phenomenon, the
temperture
Correct your spelling
temperature
 is colder, and the season is longer too.
Furthermore
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,
people
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also
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 can notice the distinct in
sresonal
Correct your spelling
seasonal
personal
 plants or species become extinct. In conclusion, I totally disagree that most
people
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 do not care enough about environmental
issues
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, because
people
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 can obtain
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information without difficulty through government public service announcements,
news
Correct word choice
and news
show examples
 and
people
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also
Linking Words
 can feel the change by themselves.

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coherence and cohesion
Provide clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to improve the logical flow of ideas.
task achievement
Elaborate further on each point to provide more comprehensive explanations and insights for the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Use more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance the overall quality of writing.
task achievement
You present a clear opinion on the issue, which is essential for task achievement.
task achievement
You successfully provided examples to support your points, demonstrating effective reasoning.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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